Tandem Nursing: One at a Time

Welcome to the Carnival of Tandem Nursing

This post was written for inclusion in the Carnival of Tandem Nursing hosted by Mommying My Way. Our participants have shared their personal stories of the highs the lows and information on what to expect if tandeming is in your future. Please read to the end of each post to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

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Would you, could you in a tram?

Dave, Ronen’s Dad

Pre-kids, I had a picture of tandem nursing in my head. Lovingly nursing an older child and baby. They would face each other, hold hands. The vision was beautiful.

I have four children who are all 2-3 years apart. I’ve tandem nursed…more than once. And not once have I had that lovely scene that used to be in my head. While some mothers complain of having a nursing adversion during pregnancy, I’ve never had that. Certainly there were times when my nipples were more sensitive. Those times seemed to wax and wan.

About a month after each birth, however, the nursing adversion toward the older child would begin. Some would say that it was nature’s way of telling me it was time to wean the older child. That didn’t set well with me for our family. It wasn’t just my desire to practice child-led weaning with our children that kept us going. The choice to have another child was mine, not my older child’s.

So, instead, I would look to ways to meet everyone’s needs. Through trial and error, we found what worked for us. I quickly realized that nursing two children at once was more than I could handle. So, I always nursed my children one at a time, sometimes in succession, if we needed to. Taking care of a newborn can be intensive. They depend on us completely to meet their needs. When we also have older children, it’s easy to forget about our own needs.

I found that focusing on some of my needs was a much welcomed distraction when nursing my older children. We still snuggled and connected while nursing, but I could also read my own book during that time and relax a bit. It was a reminder to me that I needed to take some time for myself and that I could do that while taking care of my children. Nursing looks different for every nursing couple (mother and child), and tandem nursing involves more than one nursing couple. Limiting nursing to one child at a time worked for us.

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  • My Tandem Nursing Journey: Jenny at I’m a full-time mummy is sharing her tandem nursing journey so far…
  • Built for Two: No matter how much you read and plan, things may not always go as you expect. A few things that Jennifer at True Confessions of a Real Mommy wished she knew when she was planning to tandem feed her toddler and newborn.
  • Tandem Nursing – Magic Cure?: Jorje of Momma Jorje had high expectations of tandem nursing easing her toddler daughter’s transition from being the baby to being a big sister.
  • Mutually Desirable – Navigating a Tandem Nursing Experience: Amy Willa at www.amywilla.com talks about limit setting and meditations that help her navigate an intense tandem nursing experience.
  • My Adventure in Tandem Nursing: Alicia at Lactation Narration tells her story of nursing her daughter through pregnancy and then tandem nursing.
  • 4 months in: the good/hard: Becca at Exile Fertility writes about the joys and struggles of having two nurslings 17 months apart.
  • Tandem Nursing: One at a Time: When tandem nursing resulted in a nursing aversion, Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children looked for ways to meet everyone’s needs.
  • Why Nurse a 4 Year Old?: One of the questions Dionna at Code Name: Mama keeps getting is, “but why breastfeed a four year old? What are the benefits?” Today she answers that question.
  • My Hurt Feelings: Shannon at The Artful Mama shares how her first son reacted to nursing after the birth of his brother and the gift she received the last time he nursed.
  • Carnival of Tandem Nursing: A Letter To Myself 7 Years Ago: Dulce de leche shares the advice and reassurance that she would have given to herself if she could go back in time.
  • Nursing Both My Babies: Cassie at There’s a Pickle in my Lifeshares her experience with nursing and transitioning into tandem nursing. She also gives tips for struggles.
  • Our Tandem Nursing Journey: Kim at Life-is-Learning describes her journey into tandem nursing and why it is important to her.
  • Based on her own experience, Lauren at Hobo Mama dishes about the benefits and downsides to nursing multiple children.

5 thoughts on “Tandem Nursing: One at a Time

  1. Such an important reminder that we need to address our own needs – especially when we are so busy meeting the needs of others. I’ve not had that idyllic scene happen either due to aversion. We also usually nurse in succession so that I’m not as touched out – it helps!
    ~Dionna @ Code Name: Mama

  2. Pingback: My Hurt Feelings | The Artful Mama

  3. Pingback: My Adventure in Tandem Nursing - Lactation Narration

  4. Oh yes, I feel you here. I feel so touched out sometimes… at the end of the day I just need a few minutes of peace just to recollect. I don’t like nursing both at once. In fact, the picture I took for my post was all of about 3 minutes when I just couldn’t take it anymore. We do a lot of reading books while baby nurses and that seems to work ok. Thanks for the post!

  5. “The choice to have another child was mine, not my older child’s.” Wow, I am touched with this sentence! I do agree with you! I have quite a rough beginning with my tandem nursing journey and thank God, able to overcome it in a month or so. Thanks for sharing your experience!