Why I Stopped Saying “Merry Christmas”

Some may be surprised to hear that I am not a Christian. Others who are aware may be surprised to hear that there was a time when I was one. The topic isn’t one I talk about a lot. It isn’t because of being ostracized, which believe me, happens. Ask that an all-inclusive event not be labelled with one holiday, and you have your character attacked. Admit the fact to the woman at Einstein Brothers who is hounding you for parenting advice because your family is so peaceful and respectful, and she will run for all it is worth. Explain to your in-laws that your family celebrates something else and hear ranting and screaming with some declarations that you are solely responsible for killing baby Jesus (or is that just my in-laws?). No, the reason I don’t talk about it a lot is because it just doesn’t matter. Treating people with respect doesn’t require that we share religious (or not) beliefs. I am not out to convert anyone away from their religious philosophy.

Back to the phrase “Merry Christmas,” though. I didn’t stop saying it because I am no longer a Christian. (Please don’t try to convert me. I have studied religion in depth. I am confident with where I am in my journey.) I stopped saying “Merry Christmas” back when I was still a Christian. Why? you ask. The reason is simple. I realized that when I said those two simple words, no matter how well-meaning, the supposed happiness that I was wishing the person was contingent. It was contingent on their celebration of the holiday I was specifying. It was about my holiday and therefore about me. If you know the other person and what they believe and celebrate, that can be fine. They share the same holiday with you, and therefore it is also about them. However, said to someone whose beliefs you are unsure of or whom you know celebrates something different, that contingency makes a big difference.

So, back when I was a Christian, I stopped saying “Merry Christmas.” I began saying “Happy Holidays!” It worked for friends who celebrated other holidays, even if that was New Year’s Day or something else. It worked for strangers I knew nothing about. I genuinely was wishing the other person happiness, with no contingency, without making it about me or my beliefs. Now, I sometimes even just say “Happiness to you!”

So, during this cold winter season (in the Northern hemisphere, heat of summer in the Southern), I wish you all happiness!

One thought on “Why I Stopped Saying “Merry Christmas”

  1. I just found your blog on Ravelry and came over to look at a pattern for fingerless gloves (great pattern!). I wanted to tell you I really enjoyed this post as well and I get it. I am a “Happy Holidays” person myself. I pretty much grew up with no religion and it bothered me and continues to bother me that folks make assumptions about what they think my beliefs are when they know nothing about what I believe or don’t believe. Saying “Happy Holidays” to others is my way of saying “I am making no assumptions about your beliefs are and I am wishing you the happiness of the season!” You have a great blog…I look forward to reading more.