Someone’s Hero

Welcome to the March 2014 Carnival of Natural Parenting: Everyday Superheroes

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month our participants have talked about the remarkable people and characteristics that have touched their lives. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

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My “S” emblazoned T-shirt is covered in spit-up. The tail of my sling, aka cape, has dirty little handprints, and we won’t hazard a guess as to what exactly those crunchy items that resemble boogers are. The Mom-mobile (van) looks more like it belongs to a suburbanite, with ice skates, cloth grocery bags, and extra towels in the back. I could use some super speed to take care of everything on my to-do list which seems to grow as though it was in a vortex.

My super powers are limited to making breastmilk (and humans) and throwing together edibles from whatever is on hand, along with some mad organizational/planning skills and the ability to multi-task like no one’s business. I can nurse a baby, answer the questions of my children, churn out a bit of work, and keep the household from tumbling into a chasm all at the same time.

Overall, I don’t feel much like a hero. Sometimes I become frustrated and flustered. I make mistakes. Really, sometimes I just want to quit pretending I’m a grown up. I want to cry. I want to step back and let someone else deal with the bills, the laundry, the groceries, and dealing with all of the problems that moms (and dads) deal with.

And then someone puts their arms around my neck and gives me a slobbery kiss. I watch one of my children make a breakthrough in something they were struggling with. I see them mimic my behavior, whether good or whether making something right. They tell me they love me.

It challenges me to find myself, not only for me but for them, and to work toward being a better person every day because they deserve that. So I put on my tights and my cape. I look in their eyes, and I step up because I am someone’s hero.

 

photo credit: paurian via photopin cc

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Carnival of Natural Parenting -- Hobo Mama and Code Name: MamaVisit Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

(This list will be updated by afternoon March 11 with all the carnival links.)

  • I Am A Super Hero — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama shares how she learned the hard way exactly what it means to be a real super hero and not a burned out shell of a human simply pretending to be one.
  • Quiet Heroics — Heroism doesn’t have to be big and bold. Read how Jorje of Momma Jorje is a quiet hero…and how you probably are, too.
  • Not a Bang, but a Whisper {Carnival of Natural Parenting} — Meegs at A New Day talks about the different types of “superheroes,” ones that come in with a bang and ones that come in with a whisper.
  • Silent courage of motherhood in rural Cambodia — Nathalie at Kampuchea Crossings marvels at how rural Khmer women defy the odds in childbirth.
  • Super PappyMother Goutte‘s little boy met a superhero in checked slippers and Volkswagen Polo, his grand dad: Super Pappy!
  • An Open Letter to Batman — Kati at The Best Things challenges Batman to hold up his end of the deal, in the name of social justice, civic duty, and a little boy named Babe-O!
  • My Village — Kellie at Our Mindful Life reflects on the people who helped her to become her best self.
  • 5 Lessons My Kids Taught Me — Children are amazing teachers, when we only stop to listen. They remind us to choose happiness, to delight in the small things, to let go and forgive. There is so much we can learn from our children. Justine at The Lone Home Ranger shares a few of the lessons she’s learned.
  • Could you use some superpowers? — Tat at Mum in search shares a fun activity to help you connect with your own superpowers.
  • Like Fire Engines — Tam at tinsenpup tells the story of the day she saw a surprising superhero lurking in the guise of her not entirely mild-mannered four-year-old daughter.
  • Everyday Superheroes — Erica at ChildOrganics shares her list of Walker Warburg Syndrome Superheroes that have touched her life forever.
  • My Superhero of the Week: Nancy GallagherTribal Mama muses about the transcendent things her superhero mom has done.
  • My choice in natural birth does not make me a super hero — Bianca, The Pierogie Mama, discusses her thoughts on her experience with the perception of natural birth and putting those mamas on a different level. Does giving birth naturally give cause for an extra pat on the back? No! All mamas, no matter how they birth, are superheroes.
  • Someone’s Hero — Sometimes being a parent means pretending to be a grown-up, but it always means you are someone’s hero. Read Mandy’s lament at Living Peacefully with Children.
  • Growing into a Super Hero — Casey at Joyful Courage shares how owning our behavior and choosing to be a better parent, a better person, is an act of courage.
  • A Math Superhero — Kerry at City Kids Homeschooling writes that her 7-year-old daughter’s superhero is an MIT-trained mathematician.
  • It Starts With Truffula Trees And Tulips — Luschka of Diary of a First Child takes a hard look at the realities of her relationship with her mother, and through this post goes on a journey of discovery that ends in a surprise realisation for her.
  • We Don’t Need an Excuse — Maria Kang (aka “Hot Mom”) asks women #WhatsYourExcuse for not being in shape? Dionna at Code Name: Mama asks Hot Mom what her excuse is for not devoting her life to charity work, or fostering dozens of stray dogs each year, or advocating for the needs of others. Better yet, Code Name: Mama says, how about we realize that every woman has her own priorities. Focus on your own, and stop judging others for theirs.
  • It’s not heroic when you’re living it — Lauren at Hobo Mama knows from the inside that homeschooling does not take a hero, and that much of what we choose as parents is simply what works best for us.
  • Superheroes, princesses and preschoolers — Garry at Postilius discusses why his preschool-age son is not ready for comic book superheroes.
  • The Loving Parents of Children with Special Needs – Everyday Superheroes — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now shares posts with resources for parents of children with special needs along with posts to help others know how to support parents of children with special needs.
  • Everyday Empathy — Mommy Giraffe of Little Green Giraffe shares why her secret superpower is everyday empathy.
  • The Simplicity of Being a Superhero — Ana at Panda & Ananaso explains what superheroes mean to her wise three-year-old.
  • My Father, The Hero — Fathers are pretty amazing; find out why Christine at The Erudite Mom thinks hers is the bees knees.

Getting Excited about the DidyTai Giveaway!

 

Didytai Giveaway Event

Sponsored by Adriane Stare of Caribou Baby

 

Hosted by:

The Squishable Baby

 

Co-hosted by:

Our Piece of Earth According to Jenny Zephyr Hill Blog
The Median Mommy Life as a Wife, Mummy and Nurse I Thought I Knew Mama
Mommy’s Favorite Things Kerrific online Living Peacefully with Children
Hobo Mama Momma Lew

Are you ready?!

 

The Tuesday after Thanksgiving – the frenzy starts! We are giving away a very awesome and beautiful Woven Mei Tai – The Didymos Didy Tai valued at $190. Residents of US and Canada.

This giveaway is unique. The Didymos Didy Tai is a wonderful marriage between a woven wrap and a Buckle carrier. It’s Super fast (and easy to learn) like the buckle carrier and snugly like a wrap. The DidyTai (or wrap-tai) has a criss-cross back for weight support. This is the only Mei Tai style carrier that Caribou Baby recommends for newborns because of the tremendous back support – and the ability to carry the baby legs out in a deep squat – from day 1.

The DidyTai is versatile. Its toggle base allows for a great newborn hold and for the mobility of an older baby.

 

Other features of the Didy Tai include:

  • Reversible two-color carrier
  • Anatomically correct squat-spread-position
  • Special, diagonally stretchable cloth
  • Lightweight and handy
  • Free from any toxic materials
  • Pure organic cotton
  • Non-toxic dyes
  • Made in Germany
  • Machine washable
  • Long-lasting and resistant

 

The giveaway begins on December 4th.

 

Keep up with Living Peacefully with Children by signing up for e-mail (on the right hand side bar), RSS Feed (again, on the right hand side bar), on Facebook, and on Pinterest.

 

 

 

Mei Tai Love

Take a look at why The Squishable Baby loves Mei Tais and why she wanted to host this event!

Living Peacefully with Children is not responsible for prize distribution.

 

Keeping Holiday Food Simple

Welcome to the November edition of the Simply Living Blog Carnival - Enjoyment cohosted by Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children and Laura at Authentic Parenting. This month, we write about what food and how we simplify things related to it in our lives. Please check out the links to posts by our other participants at the end of this post.

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We tend to be pretty low key on the holidays. Foreseeing issues of demands on holidays, we made it rule when we first were married that we would spend holidays at our home. If we invited someone to share the day(s) with us, that was fine, but we were not going to be dictated to concerning where we would spend our time. Our family traditions and festivities have changed a bit through the years, as we have blended the traditions I grew up with and the ones my husband grew up with, cut out ones that didn’t speak to us, and added others that had meaning for our family. Becoming parents has helped us a lot in that aspect, as we look at what we really want to do with our children and what baggage would be better left behind.

Food is a struggle for many families. I can’t tell you how many horror stories I have heard about getting the perfect holiday dinner on the table. I can’t say I really understand. In my experience, you really can’t mess it up. Trust me, my husband has unintentionally tried messing up the  turkey in multiple ways, and the truth is, no matter what has happened, they always come out nice and juicy with wonderful flavor…all without the martyrdom of getting up at 2 AM to cook the perfect meal.

So how do we simplify things to keep the crazy out of the day? To start with, we have a holiday dinner. It makes the meal feel a little more special, and there is no mad “running around like a chicken with its head cut off.” (Thanks to my mother for her visual descriptions which still pop into my head to this day.) There is no rush and we can take our time and start dinner on our schedule. If people are visiting from far away, they have plenty of time to arrive or wake up at our house and just chill.

A crucial part of the day, though, is that we don’t cook any other meals. That doesn’t mean we starve our children. That would be a disaster. Instead, all food leading up to the main meal is finger food/appetizer stuff. We have veggie platters with dip, fruit platters with fondue, platters with meats, crackers, and cheese. We make our favorite appetizers that we normally wouldn’t make. All of these activities are family time. Our children love making fun and unique food, and since we have so many other appetizers, there isn’t a need to make a ton of any of them. People graze all day, going into the kitchen when they are hungry and helping themselves. You can’t get any more low key than that. Visting friends and family also love it. They can wander in and not feel like they have to take something or shouldn’t take something. If they bring food, we just add it to the buffet. And with all of the resulting free time? We get to do whatever we want: watch a family movie, play board games to our hearts content, snuggleup with a good book, or just talk.

It’s a tradition that has worked well for our family for a long time and one that I absolutely love.

photo credit: tres.jolie via photopin cc

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Thank you for visiting the Simply Living Blog Carnival cohosted by Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children and Laura at Authentic Parenting. We hope you will join us next month!

  • Seeking Balance - At Sagetribe, Kelly speaks about how their journey as a family has very much been marked by their journey into finding and learning about real food. From veggie burgers made and immediately frozen to homemade breads and cheeses, they’ve found the best way to find balance in their food story, is to keep simple ingredients on hand.
  • Keeping Holiday Food Simple - At Living Peacefully with Children, Mandy shares how her family has developed a holiday tradition with food that allows her family to enjoy the day rather than slaving away.
  • Grain-Free Crock Pot Baked Potato Soup Recipe - A hearty and delicious crock pot soup recipe helps to simplify food planning and preparation for any family. Amy at Anktangle shares her tried-and-true recipe for loaded baked potato soup—made without any grains or flours. What’s more: it freezes well for reheating later!
  • Feeing a Family in the Middle of Nowhere - At Authentic Parenting, Laura writes about the many ways she has found over seven years of living in the middle of nowhere to feed her family paleo.
  • The Mind is a Wonderful Thing to Taste - Zoie at TouchstoneZ sees cooking with her family as a mindfulness practice and as service to her family.

Share your posts on simplifying meals, great simple recipes, healthy eating, and more. Just link up any old or new posts between now and December 19, 2013.



Cooperation or Compliance

Frequently, I hear parents complain about how their child refuses to cooperate. One can almost see the anger and frustration wafting off of these parents in regard to their children, children whom they love, whom they currently view as defiant and disrespectful. I understand. Really, I do. There are times when I am really frustrated with my children, or at least our current situation. I am not a parenting guru. This is the point where I say that if anyone ever refers to themself as a parenting guru, you should walk away…slowly, avoiding eye contact, until you feel you are at a safe enough distance to turn and run. Certainly, there are people dedicated to researching child pysychology, realtionships, communication, and so on, who may very well be experts in their field. That is different than a guru, but I digress.

The fact is that I have never met a child, one who was healthily connected and had all needs met, who wasn’t willing to cooperate with a loved one. Yes, I actually said never. “But Mandy,” you say. “You have never met my child.” That may be true. “But Mandy,” you say. “You have met my child.” That may also be true, depending on who you are and who your child is. I stand by my statement, though. As much as we may like to think of our children as unique little snowflakes, there are some things which are just human nature. Working together is a fundamental survival skill.

So that brings us to two points. If your child is, in fact, not cooperating, I challenge you to ask yourself why. People, children included, don’t do anything without reason. We may not always examine our reasons, or perhaps we don’t recognize the reasons, but they exist none-the-less. Is your child feeling connected with you? If not, maybe they need to spend more, or more mindful, time with you. Are all of their needs being fully met? If not, rectify that. Make certain your child’s needs are met. If there is a want mingling in there, explore a little more and see what underlying need is behind the want. You can’t help fix a problem if you don’t know what the true problem is.

Secondly, and one that frequently casts a shadow to the forefront, is that the parent is confusing a lack of compliance with cooperation. When many parents say their child is not cooperating, what they really mean is that their child is being non-compliant, i.e. the child is not doing what the parent wants.  Again, I challenge you to ask yourself why. Except, this time, I challenge you to look at yourself. Are you feeling connected with your child? Are all of your needs being met? As a parent, if is often easy to overlook our own needs, but that can actually be detrimental to our families. We aren’t functioning at our best when we have needs being left unmet.

Of course, the other scenario is a compilation of the two. Perhaps neither the parent nor the child is feeling connected. Perhaps everyone has needs which aren’t being met. If one person has unmet needs, it isn’t so far-fetched to think that an underlying cause may be preventing other family members from having their needs met, too. Regardless of what is going on, let go of the negative thoughts and instead, take a second to mentally explore options, connect or meet needs, andcommunicate with your child. They may just have some ideas to help everyone out.

photo credit: mcdlee via photopin cc

Using Technology to Your Advantage: Helping Children Find Balance

Welcome to the October 2013 Carnival of Natural Parenting: Kids and Technology

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month our participants have written about their families’ policies on screen time.

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I am a fan of technology. Wheels, flushing toilets, and child safety seats are all good in my book. You won’t hear me ranting about the evils of technology. The thing about technology is that it is a tool, meant to add value and ease to our lives. Like anything else, it can be used or abused. For example, a hammer makes putting together a house much easier or can be used in violence against another person. It’s all a choice, and just because you choose to use some technology doesn’t mean that you have to choose to abuse it.

The same can be said when it comes to electronics. While you will find some parents at either extreme of the electronic spectrum, most families want to use it for their purposes and help their children find a healthy balance. That is much easier than it sounds. In a healthy environment, one in which the needs of family members are being bet, children are quite capable of regulating themselves. Here are some things to keep in mind when helping children find balance with electronics:

  • Meet the needs. Individuals may turn to electronics for a myriad of reasons: entertainment, education, relaxation, communication, work, and more. When looking at electronic use, consider why it is being used and if there are more appropriate ways to meet those needs. If so, help with it.
  • Model the behavior. Children watch everything you do. If you feel your children are turning to electronics too much, it may be time to look at your own usage.
  • Offer an alternative. Children strive for and thrive on spending time with loved ones. If they are turning to electronics due to boredom or lack of attention, chances are they will jump when offered the opportunity to do something with you.
  • Talk to your kids. Explain your views, ideals, and beliefs to them. Listen to them.

photo credit: Amarand Agasi via photopin cc

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Carnival of Natural Parenting -- Hobo Mama and Code Name: MamaVisit Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants (list will be updated throughout the day on October 8):

  • Has Technology Taken Away Childhood? — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama worries that technology is intruding on the basic premise of childhood – active play in all forms! Join her as she takes a brief look at how play has changed as technology becomes more integrated into the daily lives of our children.
  • Fostering a Healthy Relationship with Technology — Jenn at Adventures Down Under describes her children’s love of screen time and how her family implements their philosophy and policies on technology.
  • Kids Chores for Tech PrivilegesCrunchy Con Mommy shares how tying chore completion to iPad privileges worked in her house to limit screen time and inspire voluntary room cleaning!
  • Screens — Without the benefit of her own experience, sustainablemum explains her family’s use of technology in their home.
  • Screen Time – The Battle of Ideologies — Laura from Laura’s Blog explains why she is a mom who prioritizes outdoor natural play for her kids but also lets them have ample screen time.
  • The Day My iPhone Died — Revolution Momma at Raising a Revolution questions the role technology plays in her life when she is devastated after losing her phone’s picture collection from her daughter’s first year.
  • Finding our Technological Balance — Meegs at A New Day talks about how she finds balance between wanting her daughter to enjoy all the amazing technology available to her, without it overwhelming the natural parenting she’s striving for.
  • Raising kids who love TV — Lauren at Hobo Mama sometimes fears what children who love screentime will grow up to be … until she realizes they’ll be just like her.
  • No Limits on Screen Time? Is that Natural? — Susan at Together Walking shares misconceptions and benefits of having no limits on technology and screen time in their home.
  • Screen Time — Jorje of Momma Jorje shares what is currently working (and what hasn’t) regarding screen time in her household.
  • Positive Use of Technology with Kids — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now tells about her family’s experiences with early technology, shares helpful resources from around the blogosphere, and speculates on what she’d do as a parent with young children today.
  • why i will never quit you, TV — How Emma of Your Fonder Heart came to terms with the fact that screen time is happening, and what balance looks like between real and virtual life for both her toddler AND herself.
  • Technology Speaks — Janet at Our Little Acorn finds many uses for technology – including giving her child a voice.
  • 5 Ways to Extend Children’s Screen Time into Creative Learning Opportunities — Looking for a way to balance screen time with other fun learning experiences? Dionna at Code Name: Mama shares 5 fun ways to take your child’s love of favorite shows or video games and turn them into creative educational activities.
  • What parents can learn about technology from teachers — Douglas Blane at Friendly Encounters discusses how technology in schools enhances children’s learning, and where to find out more.
  • 5 Tips for a Peaceful Home — Megan of the Boho Mama and author at Natural Parents Network shares her favorite 5 tips for creating a peaceful home environment.
  • Technology and Natural Learning — Kerry at City Kids Homeschooling writes about the importance of technology as a tool for natural, self-directed learning.
  • Babies and TechnologyJana Falls shares how her family has coped, changed their use of, relied on, and stopped using various forms of technology since their little man arrived on the scene
  • Kids and Technology — Rosemary at Rosmarinus Officinalis talks about the benefits of using technology with her preschooler, and includes a few of their favorite resources.
  • Using Technology to Your Advantage: Helping Children Find Balance — At Living Peacefully with Children, Mandy discusses how technology can be used or abused and gives a few tips to help children learn balance.

 

Authentic Parenting Blog Hop: Parenting in the Light of Your Own Childhood

APBC - Authentic ParentingKeeping with this month’s theme of switching things up, the Authentic Parenting Blog Carnival, co-hosted by Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children and Laura at Authentic Parenting, is hosting a blog hop this month on a very important topic: parenting in the light of your own childhood. Our experiences, good and bad, shape who we are. We can choose to continue something or to make changes. We want everyone to speak up about how you have chosen to parent based on how you were parented. Tell us about how you are consciously and authentically parenting in relation to your own childhood experiences. We know this can be a touchy subject, so if you have a new post you would like hosted on another site, please e-mail us and we would be happy to find a blog to host you, anonymously or otherwise. By addressing issues of the past, we can choose to make a bright future. Simply add your post, new or old, to the convenient linky tool below before October 25, 2013.

We understand that many of these posts may touch on emotionally difficult subjects as we explore our own upbringing. However, as advocates of gentle and respectful parenting, we do ask that your posts not advocate in favor of violence toward others or non-gentle parenting practices.

 

Blog hops are a great way to generate blog traffic and build a supportive community. Your blog will receive links from many other blogs and you and your readers will have the opportunity to discover other blogs with similar goals in mind. Please join us as we embrace Authentic Parenting! We hope you will consider joining us every month as we discuss ways to bring authenticity into our lives and our parenting.

Want to help host this blog hop on your own blog? Grab the code and share everyone’s posts with your readers!

photo credit: Thomas Hawk via photopin cc



Authentic Parenting Blog Carnival August Call for Submissions:

APBC - Authentic ParentingWelcome to the Authentic Parenting Blog Carnival cohosted by Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children and Laura at Authentic Parenting. We hope that you will join us on the last Friday of each month as we share posts about simple living in our lives. Submission deadline: Saturday, August 24.


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Breastfeeding

As August is Breastfeeding Awareness Month, every year at this time, we use the carnival to spread awareness and knowledge about breastfeeding. So share your stories, your hardship, your happiness. Tell us all about the benefits of breastfeeding, help us spread the knowledge.

How to join in?

To submit an article to the blog carnival, please e-mail your submission to mandy{at}livingpeacefullywithchildren{dot}com and mamapoekie{at}yahoo{dot}com, and fill out the webform by August 24. Please write a new, unpublished piece for the carnival. We will e-mail you with instructions before the carnival date. We ask that you publish your post on August 30.

Please do:

  • Use your creativity
  • Write an original, previously unpublished post on the given topic
  • Be respectful
  • Spell check your post

Do Not

Use excessive profanity or promote violence against others

As the co-hosts of the carnival are advocates of peaceful living and gentle parenting, we ask that you not post about non-gentle practices or violence toward others. While we will not be editing your articles, we do reserve the right to not add your post to the carnival if it is not on topic, is poorly written, or goes against the guidelines which have been set forth.

Why Participate?

Blog carnivals are a great way to generate blog traffic and build a supportive community. Your blog will receive links from many other blogs and you and your readers will have the opportunity to discover other blogs with similar goals in mind. Please join us as we embrace Authentic Parenting! We hope you will consider joining us every month as we discuss ways to live and parent authentically.

 

Raising Attached Siblings

Welcome to the August 2013 Carnival of Natural Parenting: Sibling Revelry

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month our participants have written about siblings — their own, their hopes for their kids, and more. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

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My husband and I are huge family people. We crave that feel of love and support. Perhaps part of that reason is that we both come from dysfunctional families.

My family consisted of much older siblings, an abusive father, and a mother who was depressed. As each of my siblings came of age, they left with hardly a glance back. I watched as the people I idealized seemed to leave me to continue coping and holding everyone together on my own.

My husband’s family had other issues. While he and his brothers are close in age, parental enforced competition between the brothers did not create strong bonds or love. Attempts to control him and make him appear whatever made his parents look good left my husband on his own.

And then we found each other. We fell in love. We got married, and later had kids. We vowed to do things differently. Consensual living plays a large role in both how we interact with our children and how they interact with each other.

Don’t get me wrong. Life isn’t always roses, and there are times when our children disagree and argue. It never lasts long though, and they use their communication skills to work out issues. Having our children curl up together, or even be piled on top of each other, as they read or watch a movie is a common sight. Age differences don’t seem to matter. We have four children, ages 10 1/2 down to age 3. They all work together, help one another, and interact beautifully (for the most part). It is everything my husband and I could have ever wanted for our children or for ourselves.

We may not have that big family feel from our own families of origin, but we are watching it grow with our children. The love they share and the way they treat one another will serve them well for life. As parents of multiple children, it isn’t enough just to foster close connections between parent and child. We need to make certain we are parenting in such a fashion as to allow our children to make those connections between one another.

photo credit: katerha via photopin cc

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Carnival of Natural Parenting -- Hobo Mama and Code Name: MamaVisit Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

(This list will be live and updated by afternoon August 13 with all the carnival links.)

  • The Damage of Comparing Siblings — Comparing siblings can lead to hurt feelings and poor relationships. What Jana Falls has learned and why she hopes for more for her son.
  • Connecting Through Sibling Rivalry — With four children who are spaced so that each child grows up in a pair, Destany at They are All of Me shares her method for minimizing the competition so her children can focus on bonding, rather than besting each other.
  • Sibling Revelry — Lucy at Dreaming Aloud shares the two-week transition that happens every summer as her kids transform from bickering to learning how to play.
  • Baby Brother born from an OceanAbby Jaramillo describes how her toddler connects in a possibly mystical way with her new baby brother and his birth at home, and Abby draws parallels with her own sister’s new baby.
  • Hard, But Worth It — Claire at The Adventures of Lactating Girl discusses how difficult having two children can be, but how it’s definitely worth it.
  • Raising Attached Siblings — At Living Peacefully with Children, Mandy and her husband are making conscious choices about how they raise their children to foster sibling connection and attachment.
  • It’s Complicated — Henrietta at Angel Wings and Herb Tea reflects on how life’s twists and turns have taken her from a childhood with no siblings to a constantly changing family life with five children, including one in spirit.
  • Supportsustainablemum reflects on how the differences between her relationship with her siblings and her husband’s have affected their family and at a time of need.
  • Peas in a Pod — Kellie at Our Mindful Life enjoys the special relationship her oldest two children share.
  • Lessening the competitive enviornment in the homeLisa at The Squishable Baby discusses how downplaying competition in the home has led to cooperation, not competition.
  • The complex and wonderful world of siblings — Lauren at Hobo Mamareflects on her choices to have not too many children, spaced far apart — and how that’s maybe limited how close their sibling relationship can be.
  • 5 Ways to Help Young Siblings Have a Loving Relationship — Charise I Thought I Knew Mama shares the strategies that help her three year old and 14 month old have a somewhat beautiful relationship and aid in keeping peace in their home.
  • 4 Steps to Encourage Sibling Revelry, even in Hot Moments of Rivalry — Sheila Pai of A Living Family share 4 Steps she uses to shift hot moments of sibling rivalry towards connected moments of sibling revelry and human compassion.
  • Twins Are Fun — Mercedes at Project Procrastinot witnesses the development of her twins’ sibling bond.
  • Growing Up Together- Sibling Revelry in Our House — Amy at Me, Mothering, and Making it All Work realizes that there is great utility in raising siblings that are close in age, and is grateful to have been blessed with healthy siblings that both love and challenge one another every day.
  • Top 5 Ways to Reduce Sibling Rivalry — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now shares ideas that helped her two children be best friends along with Montessori resources for peace education and conflict resolution.
  • Sibling Uncertainty — Alisha at Cinnamon and Sassafras wonders how her children’s relationship will change now that the baby is mobile.
  • Living with the Longing — Rachael at The Variegated Life sees that she can live with her longing for another — without changing her plans.
  • For My One and Only DaughterPlaying for Peace mommy reflects on her choice to not have more children in order to focus on other dreams.
  • Siblings: A Crash Course in Relationship Training — How have your siblings prepared you for later relationships? One of Dionna at Code Name: Mama’s top priorities as mama of siblings is to help them learn how to navigate relationships.
  • The Joys of Siblings: An Inside Joke — Ana at Panda & Ananaso shares the a glimpse into the joys of having siblings through sharing a perplexing yet hilarious inside joke betwixt her and her own.
  • Sibling Support, even in the potty! — Even though Laura at Pug in the Kitchen‘s children didn’t start out best friends, they are joined at the hip these days, including cheering each other on with potty successes!
  • Don’t Seek What Isn’t There – On Sibling Jealousy — Laura from Authentic Parenting analyzes the seeming desire people harbor for seeking out hints of sibling jealousy.
  • Sibling Love / Sibling Hate?Momma Jorje speculates whether her children will have a different sibling experience than her own. Did she make the right choices based on her own history?

The Inauthenticity of Anger

Welcome to the July 2013 Authentic Parenting Blog Carnival: Anger

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Authentic Parenting Blog Carnival hosted by Authentic Parenting and Living Peacefully with Children. This month our participants have written about anger. We hope you enjoy this month’s posts and consider joining us next month when we share about breastfeeding.

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Feelings…..nothing more than feelings….Anger. It’s a very real emotion and one that many parents have experienced. Anger, even when expressed in healthy ways, is not healthy tough.

How can a real emotion be unhealthy? It is unhealthy because it is a manifestation of our inauthenticity. You heard me correctly. While anger can be very real, it isn’t authentic.

Anger is actually a secondary emotion. It always follows after other emotions. While emotions point us toward our met and unmet needs, as a secondary emotion, anger doesn’t let us know what is going on.

When we find ourselves angry, we have ignored the primary emotions, the ones that were there to tell us about our met and unmet needs. We haven’t been honest with ourselves or with the people we love.

It is important to take the time to discover the primary emotion we are experiencing in order to address what is really going on. When we are being authentic, including with our parenting, we address issues before we reach that point of anger. Sure, there are times that we may be frustrated, sad, upset, or just feel unappreciated. The time to address those issues is when they occur. Bottling up our feelings until they explode into anger isn’t helpful to anyone.

Be kind to yourself and kind to your family. Acknowledge the primary emotions and work together to meet everyone’s needs. Be authentic.

photo credit: Mysi(new stream: www.flickr.com/photos/mysianne) via photopin cc

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APBC - Authentic Parenting

Visit Living Peacefully with Children and Authentic Parenting to find out how you can participate in next month’s Authentic Parenting Blog Carnival, when we discuss breastfeeding!

 

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

(This list will be live and updated by afternoon July 27 with all the carnival links.)

Benefits of Babywearing

Welcome to the June 2013 Authentic Parenting Blog Carnival: Babywearing

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Authentic Parenting Blog Carnival hosted by Authentic Parenting and Living Peacefully with Children. This month our participants have written about babywearing. We hope you enjoy this month’s posts and consider joining us next month when we share about anger.

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When our first child was born, we broke out the sling. To say that extended relatives didn’t understand our choice to use a sling and forego carrying carseats, lugging strollers, and enjoying wearing our baby would be an understatement. We were told he would never walk. We were told he would be clingy. We were told so many things, but we knew that we had done our research. We knew we were following what felt right to us. We knew that our child was thriving. To help o

  • Babywearing results in less crying. When you are right there with your child, you are better able to read cues in the moment. This means that babies don’t have to resort to crying to try and communicate their needs. Their needs are met before they reach that point of desperation.
  • Babywearing leaves more time for learning. Crying is exhausting and really takes a lot out of babies. Babies who are worn tend to be in a calm, attentive state, perfect for learning. They spend less time recuperating and more time taking in the world around them. They also have a better view than the one they would have sitting in a stroller or other contraption. They are up at an adult’s vantage point, ready to interact with the people around them.
  • Babywearing helps babies regulate. Up until birth, a baby has not had to depend completely on their body’s own systems. Suddenly, their bodies are forced to contend on their own. When babies are worn in a sling or carrier, the adult’s body helps them to regulate their own. The baby will tune into the adult, regulating his/her own bodily systems, such as respiration.
  • Babywearing allows for easier bonding. A mother’s oxytocin levels are increased through physical contact with her baby. This leads to a more intimate bond, lessnes the incidences of postpartum depression, and aids in breastfeeding. Babywearing with other adults similarly aids in the bonding between the baby and that adult.
  • Babywearing leaves your hands free. Taking care of an infant, or toddler, takes up quite a bit of time, leaving you with less time to do necessary everyday things or find some time for yourself. By wearing your baby, you leave your hands free. Your baby is content, and you can get some things done.
  • Babywearing leads to more confident parents. Parenting is hard, and many parents question whether or not they are doing a good enough job. A content baby who is learning and cries less aids in making more confident parents, who in turn will be more likely to meet their child’s needs in a secure and gentle fashion.
  • Babywearing can be done virtually anywhere. You can wear your baby virtually anywhere you would otherwise take your baby. You don’t have to worry about pushing a stroller in rough conditions or lugging it around. There is no need to fit a bulky car seat in the cart when shopping (the AAP recommends that infants should not be in car seats unless they are in the car). Babywearing allows you to be just as mobile as you were before the baby was born.
  • Babywearing affords better sleep for baby. Many babies sleep better when in contact with a loving adult. Babywearing affords better sleep for baby.
  • Babywearing counts for tummy time. When a baby is worn, they learn to counter themselves against the gentle sway of the parent’s motions while receiving the amount of support they need for their current stage. This helps strengthen core muscles.
  • Babywearing gives babies control over themselves. Babywearing allows babies the opportunity to turn away from the world when they are overstimulated. This results in children who can chill out before reaching melt-down.
The next time someone gives you grief about babywearing, reply that this is what works for you, and then throw in a fact about babywearing. Eventually, as they see your secure happy child and you share various facts with them, they will most likely give up on trying to talk you out of it.

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APBC - Authentic Parenting

Visit Living Peacefully with Children and Authentic Parenting to find out how you can participate in next month’s Authentic Parenting Blog Carnival, when we discuss anger!

 

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

(This list will be live and updated by afternoon June 28 with all the carnival links.)