However, throughout my life and three children, I had not heard about labial adhesions. It was during my fourth pregnancy that I finally read about labial adhesions in baby girls. Just as the foreskin is adhered to the glans in little boys, there are times when the inner labia of baby girls adheres, blocking the opening to the vagina, either partially or completely. One would think that in a country where intact girls are the norm, doctors would know how to handle something like this. However, I began to read stories about doctors recommending gentle pressure against the adhesion, using Q-Tips, vaseline (petroleum) products, and even the use of estrogen creams on baby girls. Usually, as this generally reoccurs in girls who have labial adhesions which are forcably separated, the estrogen use became cyclical until puberty. I was appalled.

So, I dug further. I couldn’t believe that something that is apparently quite common in girls and seemed to correspond with a similar phenomenon in intact boys, did not serve some purpose. Surface reading will tell you that labial adhesions occur in relation to some type of irritation. Digging deeper in the medical journals, I discovered that, just as with boys, separating labial adhesions is not a recommended treatment. The use of estrogen cream is not recommended. Placing petroleum products on an infant’s genitals is not recommended. The general consensus of those who have conducted research on this subject is that labial adhesions in little girls are a naturally occurring phenomenon, generally in relation to some irritant as the body’s way to protect itself. Parents should keep an eye on it and gently wipe well at diaper changes, but otherwise it should be left alone unless there is a problem.

Relieved to know that my gut instinct was right, I happily went on with my pregnancy and later gave birth to our fourth child, our second daughter. Fast forward about 3-4 months, and I noticed a labial adhesion. Glad that I had read about these before her birth, I kept an eye on it and continued to do so as the labial adhesion increased in size. While I now knew labial adhesions were perfectly normal, I was a bit nervous about the fact that it continued to grow longer. I also couldn’t determine what the irritant might be. We used gentle products, avoided soaps, didn’t give her bubble baths, and changed her diaper immediately after she voided. So, I hit the research again.

That was when I came across some more research that linked labial adhesions with food allergies. Everything clicked into place. We were (and are) in the midst of dealing with allergies, including a lot of food allergies, in our family. Our youngest child had the most immediate and observable reactions to various foods. It made sense that her body was protecting itself. So, we continued to take a wait and see approach.

The adhesions continued, stopping when they reached a certain point, and stayed for a while. I continued keeping an eye on it during diaper changes. Then, one day as I was folding laundry and she was having some naked time (a joke to anyone who knows this child and how she can strip off all clothes and diaper in about 1/2 second), I glanced over to check on her and saw that she was doing some self-exploration and that the labial adhesion was gone. It had served as protection for as long as she needed it and gone away when it was no longer needed. We didn’t try to force it to open, causing trauma, and so the labial adhesion hasn’t returned.

Our bodies are wondrous. They generally know what to do, if we only listen. Informing ourselves of what is normal (or a variation of normal), and searching out responsible, knowledgeable medical care when there is a true need, allows us to make informed choices for our families.

Disclaimer: This article is not intended as medical advice. Neither the author, nor Natural Parents Network, are medical doctors and do not assume any responsibility for medical decisions made by parents. This article is written for educational purposes only. The author and Natural Parents Network actively encourage all parents to do their own research and make informed choices about their family’s medical care.

Previously posted at Natural Parents Network.

Vegetables That Promote Bone and Joint Health

Many people, especially those nearing their senior years, are now looking for effective ways to take good care of their bones and joints. This is very important, because as you reach your 30s, your bone mass will start to gradually decline.

Many think that the best way to stop or reverse bone loss is to take high doses of supplements, such as calcium. But here’s the truth: you can actually keep your bones strong and healthy simply by modifying your diet. You will be surprised and happy to know that there are natural substances that can help keep your joints and bones healthy even as you age.

The Potential Benefits of Fennel

According to one study in the International Journal of Molecular Medicine, eating fennel seeds may have a beneficial effect on the loss of bone mineral density, as well as on bone mineral content.

The research says that fennel helps reduce osteoclast differentiation and function, which helps to decrease bone turnover markers and offers a protective effect on the bones. Osteoclasts are cells that break down weakened bones, while osteoblasts are cells that build them back up.

Fennel, also called bronze fennel or common fennel, is a plant that produces both a seed-like fruit and a leafy growth used as an herb. It is actually a treasure trove of nutrients: it contains folate, vitamin C, calcium, magnesium, phytonutrients, and antioxidants.

Try This Simple Fennel Recipe: Fennel-Dill Artichokes

Ingredients:

4 artichokes

1 cup carrots, quartered lengthwise

1 cup fennel or celery, thinly sliced

¼ cup olive oil

¼ cup melted coconut oil

¼ cup fresh lemon juice

1 teaspoon fennel seeds

2 tablespoons or more fresh dill, chopped

½ teaspoon salt

Black pepper

Procedure:

1. Trim the tips of the artichoke leaves and cut off the stems, so they sit upright.
2. Put the artichokes in a large pot, add water until they’re properly covered, and bring to a boil. Cover the pot, reduce heat, and let simmer until just barely tender. This takes about 15 minutes. Drain.
3. Preheat your oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit.
4. Mix the carrots, celery, and fennel, and then spread evenly in a baking dish. Put the artichokes in an upright position on top of the vegetables.
5. Mix the coconut oil, olive oil, fennel seeds, lemon juice, salt, dill, and sprinkle with black pepper. Pour all over artichoke mixture.
6. Cover the baking dish and bake until all the vegetables are tender. This takes about 45 minutes.

This recipe makes four servings. Remember that this is a high-starch dish, so eat it in small amounts. You can also combine it with a protein and fat meal.

Don’t Miss Out on Other Healthy Vegetables

Fennel is just one example of a vegetable that has beneficial effects for bone health. High vegetable intake is actually associated with positive effects on bone mineral status for many years. Vegetables supply your body with bone health-promoting nutrients, like potassium and vitamin K1.

Potassium is needed by your body to help keep your body fluid pH levels at an optimal range. Sufficient potassium intake can help optimize your sodium to potassium ratio, which is an important factor for ensuring optimal bone mass.

However, if you eat a diet loaded with processed foods (which are high in sodium but low in potassium), there’s a high chance that your potassium to sodium ratio will be far from optimal and will set the stage for many health ailments.

In conclusion, eating a diet rich in high-quality, organic, and locally-grown vegetables – while ditching high-sodium processed foods – will help you to increase your bone density and strength naturally, and will help decrease your risk of developing fractures.

Remember, though, that healthy eating is just one aspect of bone and joint health – you need to combine it with other natural lifestyle strategies, such as optimizing your vitamin D levels, exercising regularly, and getting enough  high-quality sleep.

About the Author

Elaine Rosales enjoys reading articles written by Dr. Mercola. She is currently researching different treatment protocols for joint pain, and how optimal joint health greatly depends on various natural lifestyle strategies such as proper diet, exercise, and sufficient rest.

photo credit: minwoo via photopin cc

Behavioral training uses punishments and rewards in order to extract desired behaviors from the subject in question. Numerous studies support that the use of punishment in children has detrimental effects, regardless of whether or not the punishment is physical in nature. Besides dissolving the connection between parent and child, punishments do not help the child to do better or improve the behavior.

Many parents deem this to mean that they should rely on rewards instead. What they fail to realize, and what research also supports, is that rewards are merely the other side of a two-edged sword.

Read more about why rewards are not the best alternative to punishment at my post today at Natural Parents Network: Rewards: The Other Edge of the Sword.
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You may already have a secret, all-natural, wrinkle minimizer in your kitchen: Virgin Coconut Oil!

Coconut oil is great for your skin.

• Coconut oil helps hydrate the skin. drinking plenty of fluids will help hydrate your skin from the inside out. Putting coconut oil on your skin will help hydrate from the outside in.
• Healthy oils. We’ve all heard the importance of eating plenty of healthy fats which contain Omega’s. Using coconut oil on your skin also helps add in those healthy fats, keeping the connective tissues soft and supple and defending against sagging and wrinkling.
• Protection from the sun. Sun damage can aid in an increase of early wrinkles. New studies show that virgin coconut oil aids in sun protection, acting as a natural antioxidant that protects the body from free radical damage and prevents premature aging and degenerative diseases. At the same time, your body will still be able to make Vitamin D from the sun while wearing coconut oil. While coconut oil on its own may not be enough sun protection for you on those days spent out in the full sun, using it on a regular basis will provide some protection against other times.

Just keep a small container of coconut oil in the bathroom and lightly massage into your sin at night (massaging also helps strengthen facial muscles). You can even use coconut oil as an all-natural make-up remover. Try it for a couple of weeks and see if you notice a difference.

This is a joint giveaway with Living Peacefully with Children and Natural Parents Network. You may enter at one site only. Please find the section marked “Win it!” for the mandatory entry and optional bonus entries.

Crafting Connections is offering three of our readers a one-year subscription to Crafting Connections Magazine. One reader will receive a one-year print subscription, and two readers will receive a one-year digital subscription.

Crafting Connections is a full-color magazine whose purpose is to help adults and children connect with  one another and create an authentic life using crafting mediums. With an emphasis on nature and creation, Crafting Connections hopes to help families connect with one another through authenticity and creativity.

From our reviewer, Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children :

About Crafting Connections

Crafting Connections Magazine launched in the autumn of 2012. The owners, Andrea and Danielle, have a strong desire “to create authentic, connected and creative lives for [themselves] and [their} children.” While there are many crafting magazines available for adults or for children, they recognized a need for something that would appeal to families as a whole. They wanted to help other families who were looking for ways to connect with their children while growing and learning with and through their own creativity.

Crafting Connections Magazine

I was pleasantly surprised when I received a copy of Crafting Connections magazine. The full-size magazine is in vibrant color and printed on heavy paper. When the owners said they wanted a magazine for adults and children to enjoy together, they meant exactly that. The size, color, and strength of this magazine make it perfect for snuggling with little ones and leisurely looking through. The magazine can stand up to multiple children turning pages and still hold its own.

The content of the magazine is down to earth. You won’t find unrealistic projects that leave you wondering why something sounded so easy until you attempted it. There is no perfection in its simple ideas, and that is exactly where the true perfection lies. The magazine gives ideas for families but stresses that the finished projects are culminations of the people, lives, and creativity of the individuals who make them.

The actual projects focus a great deal on nature and reusing items that would otherwise be in your recycling or garbage bins or using natural items found in or around your home. There are no calls for expensive or hard-to-find items, and you can easily substitute items.

The magazine would appeal most to those families wanting to do nature- and/or craft-themed projects with their young children but who could use some simple ideas to do so. If you are a wealth of ideas when it comes to this type of thing, you may not find the magazine as beneficial. While many of the projects are things that my older children (my four children range from almost three years to ten years old) like to do, the magazine is targeted mainly for families with smaller children.

BUY IT!

You can purchase your own magazine subsription at CraftingConnections.net. One-year print subscriptions (4 issues) cost $60. One-year digital subscriptions (4 issues) cost $30. If you would like to try out an issue to see if you like the magazine, you can buy a single print issue for $15 or a single digital issue for $8.

WIN IT!

For your own chance to win a ONE-YEAR SUBSCRIPTION to Crafting Connections, enter by leaving a comment and using our Rafflecopter system below.

One winner will receive a ONE-YEAR PRINT SUBSCRIPTION TO CRAFTING CONNECTIONS MAGAZINE. Two winners will receive a ONE-YEAR DIGITAL SUBSCRIPTION TO CRAFTING CONNECTIONS MAGAZINE. Contest is open WORLDWIDE.

MANDATORY ENTRY: Visit Crafting Connections and tell us one thing that has inspired you to get crafting with your little ones! You must enter your name and email address in the Rafflecopter entry system for your entry to count, after leaving a comment on this blog post.

Leave a valid email address so we can contact you if you win. Email addresses in Rafflecopter are not made publicly visible. Please leave the same valid email address in your mandatory comment so we can verify entries.

This is a joint giveaway with Living Peacefully with Children and Natural Parents Network. You may enter at one site only, and we’ll be recording IP addresses to ensure that there are no duplicate entries. That said, please do visit and enjoy both sites!

BONUS ENTRIES:See the Rafflecopter entry system for bonus entries to increase your chance of winning after completing the mandatory entry. All bonus entries are entered directly into Rafflecopter. Give it a try, and email or leave a comment if you have any questions!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Contest closes May 18 at 11:59 p.m. Eastern Time.

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Information About Our Reviewer:

Mandy O’Brien is a WAHM to four fantastic unschooled children. You can read a bit about their lives at Living Peacefully with Children, where she writes about equality, learning, and life.

Photo Credits: Author (first picture) and then Crafting Connections

Daily Lives Everyday life can be hectic. Talk to us about how you keep everyday things from overwhelming you. Are you an organizer or declutterer? Do you avoid shopping like the plague? Perhaps you treat yourself to picking up dinner for your family sometimes. What in your daily life helps keep things simple?

To submit an article to the blog carnival, please e-mail your submission to mandy{at}livingpeacefullywithchildren{dot}com anddelilahfineandfair{at}gmail{dot}com, and fill out the webform by May 14. Please write a new, unpublished piece for the carnival. We will e-mail you with instructions before the carnival date. We ask that you publish your post on May 21.

We want you to use creativity and to express yourself as you see fit. To that end, you are welcome to post at your discretion with a few guidelines in mind. Please be respectful in your posts. Avoid excessive profanity and poor grammar or spelling. As the co-hosts of the carnival are all advocates of peaceful living and gentle parenting, we ask that you not post about non-gentle practices or violence toward others. While we will not be editing your articles, we do reserve the right to not add your post to the carnival if it is not on topic, is poorly written, or goes against the guidelines which have been set forth.

Blog carnivals are a great way to generate blog traffic and build a supportive community. Your blog will receive links from many other blogs and you and your readers will have the opportunity to discover other blogs with similar goals in mind. Please join us as we embrace Simply Living through Simple Living! We hope you will consider joining us every month as we discuss ways we simplify our lives.

 Today is National Spank Out Day, I’m sad to say. In a society where we speak out against the hitting of women, against the hitting of racial minorities, against the hitting of animals, against the hitting and bullying of anyone, there are still a large number of people who think hitting children is perfectly acceptable or even necessary. It boggles my mind.

The thing is, parenting can be scary. We go through pregnancy with the child secure inside its mother’s womb, and then suddenly this little person is on the outside, completely dependent upon….us. Children depend on us for food, shelter, warmth, guidance, and love. It’s a lot to take on. The fact is that while some people who hit their kids really don’t care, most of the parents hitting their children actually love them and do so because they are afraid.

They are afraid….

• that by not hitting their kids, society will deem them unfit parents.
• that their children won’t respect them.
• that their children will be hurt even worse.
• of losing control.
• of the pressures of life.
• of not knowing what to do.

 photo credit: dhammza via photopin cc

Be sure to check out this month’s Authentic Parenting Blog Carnival all about Peaceful Parenting Applied! Consider joining us next month as we talk about Self-Love!

Welcome to the April 2013 Authentic Parenting Blog Carnival: Peaceful Parenting Applied

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Authentic Parenting Blog Carnival hosted by Authentic Parenting and Living Peacefully with Children.  We hope you enjoy this month’s posts and consider joining us next month when we share about Peaceful Parenting Applied.

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Chances are, at some point or another, that tone has come out of your childrens’ mouths. You know the one. It’s the whine that grates on your nerves, making you want to pull your head inside your shirt, cover your ears with your hands, or leave. If you don’t deal with the whine, it just gets longer and louder and more, well, whiney. While you may find yourself wanting to walk outside and scream yourself, there are a few easy tips to keep gentle parents gentle at these times.

Don’t take it personally. This may be easier said than done, especially if the whine continues to include your name. Personally, when I begin to hear the “Moooooooom,” it takes on an entirely new level for me. As much as we may feel disrespected or underappreciated during these times, our children’s behaviors are not about us.

Define the cause. If the whining isn’t about us, what exactly is it about? That is the question of your day. You can’t begin to solve a problem if you don’t know what the problem is. Observe the situation. Think about what may be causing this seemingly annoying behavior, and set about making some changes. I know for my kids, whining signals that they are tired. We need to slow down, cut out some things, go for some quiet, easy going activities.

Connect with your kids. Yes, your child is whining and the last thing you may feel like is being around them, but when your children are exhibiting behaviors such as this, it’s a cry for help. They need you. Take a deep breath. Remember how much you love your children, and be there for them. Perhaps doing something with your child will be enough to break them out of their whining ways.

Actively listen. Everyone has bad days sometimes, and often we just need to have someone listen to us on those days. This is a great time to practice active listening so that your children understand that you ar ethere for them and that you really are listening.

Set personal limits for yourself. It’s okay to say that you are reaching your limit and that you would prefer to be spoken to in a normal voice. If you are having difficulty understanding because of the whining, explain that you can’t understand what your child is saying and that you need to know what they are saying in order to help.

Use play and humor. Try bringing a little levity to the situation by playing or using humor. When our children’s voices begin to take on that whining tinge, my husband has a difficult time understanding them. His go to phrase is “Hmmm. I couldn’t really understand what you said, but it kind of sounded like, ‘Daddy, you are the greatest!’” It hasn’t failed him yet. They will either laugh or take a deep breath to speak clearly.

Take control of your actions and words. As much as the whining may be driving us a little batty, we are still in control of our own actions. We get to choose how we act or react.

Remeber compassion. At the end of the day, think about the relationship you have with your kids. Every parent/child relationship is just taht – a relationship. remember to have compassion, both for your children and for yourself.

photo credit: polywen via photopin cc

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Visit Living Peacefully with Children and Authentic Parenting to find out how you can participate in next month’s Authentic Parenting Blog Carnival, when we discuss self-love!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

• Dealing with Whining Compassionately - Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children discusses ways to deal with whining when it is getting on your nerves.
• Peaceful Parenting in the Light of Big Emotions – Laura from Authentic Parenting wonders how to resist being swept away from the storm of emotions in a sensitive child.
• How a peaceful parent speaks -Will the truth set you free? Shonnie at Heart-Led Parenting tells how being truthful (and more) in the way she talks to and about her daughter has helped create more peace and joy in her home.
• To Sleep, Perchance to Sleep - Mercedes at Project Procrastinot expounds on the difficulties of sleeping when you’ve got new twins by your side.
• Hitting and Peaceful Parenting - Susan May at Together Walking writes about her son’s recent “hitting phase” and how they were able to navigate it without punishing him.
• Peaceful parenting in action: the importance of realistic expectations - Tat from Mum in search shares a few examples of how knowing what to expect from your children can make your day a whole lot more enjoyable.
• Success Through Encouragement - At The Squishable Baby, Lisa discusses how she helps her child be successful through encouragement.

When asked what she wanted for her birthday, my soon to be three year old replied a “purple pony!” A purple stick horse was a must. I used my time at the kids’ gymnastics classes the hand sew the mane.