Freedom through Honesty

Welcome to the February 2013 Authentic Parenting Blog Carnival: Honesty

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Authentic Parenting Blog Carnival hosted by Authentic Parenting and Living Peacefully with Children. This month our participants have written about authenticity through honesty. We hope you enjoy this month’s posts and consider joining us next month when we share about Self-Expression and Conformity.

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Fragile hearts

Photo by Bhumika Bhatia

As parents, we often talk about honesty with our children. We want our children to be honest, upstanding individuals. We want our children to be truthful with us. We want our children to know that whatever happens, they can come to us. There is a lot of talk about children being honest, but when it comes to parents, that seems to go by the wayside. In our society, it is considered acceptable to lie to our children.

There are many reasons people lie to their children. They lie to perpetuate fanciful myths. They lie rather than own their actions. They lie because it seems easier when they are tired or stressed or for a myriad of other reasons. They lie because they are trying to be someone they aren’t. Lies come with a price, though. They eat away at the trust our children have in us. They prevent us from embracing ourselves and being the person we really are.  Lies build a wall.

When we make the decision to be honest in our relationships, we give ourselves the freedom to trust and be trusted. We give ourselves the freedom to not be limited by falsehoods and to explore our own personal growth. Through our honesty, we are free to love and be loved, to grow as we help our children to grow. Through honesty, we are free to be the people we need to be.

 

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APBC - Authentic ParentingVisit Living Peacefully with Children and Authentic Parenting to find out how you can participate in next month’s Authentic Parenting Blog Carnival!

 

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

(This list will be live and updated by afternoon February 22 with all the carnival links.)

Honesty (with your children) is the Best Policy


Welcome to February edition of the Authentic Parenting Blog Carnival, hosted by Authentic Parenting and

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Photo by Jintae Kim

The phrase “honesty is the best policy” has been uttered by many for hundreds of years. When it comes to parents and children though, the policy is traditionally thrown out the window.

 From the tooth fairy to toys that disappear in the night, parents are setting up a system of distrust. When parents lie, not only are they modelling that lieing is in fact, acceptable, they are proving to their kids that they can’t be trusted. In the same vein, parents encourage their children to lie to them with punitive strategies. It’s a circular situation, diminshing trust between all parties and preventing healthy attachments that last a lifetime.
I’ve been a parent for over nine years now. I have four children. I have yet to lie to them. I won’t lie to you and say that there haven’t been times when a little white lie felt like it would be easier. There have definitely been those times. Relationships aren’t always easy though. Neither is parenting. They both take time and investment and dare I say even, work.
I want my relationships with my children to be built on a foundation of trust and authenticity. I want our relationships to grow as just my children grow. I don’t want to wake up one day to find a teenager I don’t know because s/he doesn’t trust me enough to tell me what is going on in his/her life or is afraid to talk to me about something. Honesty is the best policy, especially with our children.

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Visit Authentic Parenting and Mudpiemama to find out how you can participate in the next Authentic Parenting Blog Carnival!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants: