There is a difference between wanting to know the limits of another person's acceptance and of having another person set a limit on one's self. The difference is where the power lies. If we enforce our own limits, we exhibit self-control and encourage and enable our children to do the same. When we attempt to limit another person, we are attempting... Continue Reading →
should or could…
The word should is very negative. Its conditional nature breeds guilt and shame. Used about another person, it implies blame. Things we should have done are in the past and can't be changed. Things we should do in the future serve to set up guilt if we don't get them done. Acting how we should limits authenticity.... Continue Reading →
training daughters…
A coworker was relegating to my husband at work about an incident he had experienced with his teenage daughter the night before. He had been yelling at her for something when she said something he felt was in a disrepectful tone - backtalk, at which point he slapped her across the face hard. I can... Continue Reading →
take a deep breath…
Everyone tends to get frustrated at times. Our family is no exception. Whenever that happens, we remind each other, regardless of age, to take a deep breath. Taking a deep breath helps to calm us. The physical act of deeply filling one's lungs and exhaling reduces stress. When stressed, we breathe in short, shallow breaths; deep... Continue Reading →
cooperation is a survival skill…
Cooperation has long been a survival skill. Tribal communities have utilized cooperation in order to meet everyone's needs for millenia. With the advent of nuclear families, the focus on such cooperation took a back seat. Once again, with the increasingly interconnectedness of our society, it is once again becoming readily apparent that cooperation, along with communication,... Continue Reading →
summer reading programs…
Our family is no stranger to our local library. The librarians know us all by name. We are there quite frequently, checking out books, hanging out, or running in for a quick pick up of books on hold; a quick trip to the library for us is about 20 minutes. So, it seems to surprise... Continue Reading →
be your child’s friend…
My in-laws were visiting us one time, long before we had children. We had gone out to eat and as we sat there in the restaurant, they began to lecture. "You can't be your child's friend. You have to be the parent. Parents will always be parents." The irony of what they said as they... Continue Reading →
10 tips for toddler carseat woes…
My three year old has been the hardest of all my children to get in his carseat, preferring to take extra time to get in his seat. After making certain that the seat is comfortable, I have a few things that have helped us with the dilemma. 1. Planning extra time. Starting somewhere after age... Continue Reading →
you’re loveable to me…
It had been a big day. It had been a hard night. Many parents can identify with the opening pages of Kat Yeh's book, You're Lovable to Me. Long nights and sometimes longer days can often leave parents tired and cranky. However, it's important that we continue to show our children that no matter what, we love... Continue Reading →
compromise…
The concept of compromise sounds great on the surface. No one is getting their way. The word would almost have you believe that since neither party involved is getting exactly what they want, both parties are working together, therefore creating a win/win situation. And, that is the point at which you would be wrong. It's... Continue Reading →
living peacefully with children 