I've often heard parents discussing the fact that, together with their spouse, they always present a united front to their children, whether or not they agree with their spouse. I admit this has always confounded me a bit. I want my children to be honest, both with themselves and with others, and to do what... Continue Reading →
whining…
Most parents have dealt with a whining child at some point. I generally handle whining pretty well. It's only when the whining turns to a "Moooommmmmmyyyyyy" multiple times that it really starts to grate on my nerves. Having my name whined will quickly begin to bother me. When that happens, I calmly explain to my... Continue Reading →
five qualities of self-directed children…
There are five main qualities that self-directed children possess: Self-directed children have a high level of self-worth or self-confidence. Because these children have been raised in an environment rich in unconditional love and approval, they are able to rationally assess themselves in a way which allows for self growth rather than tearing them down. This allows... Continue Reading →
get real…
I often hear parents giving the sage advice that in order to be effective, you must be consistent. When speaking about behavioral training, this is true. Clinical studies show that inconsistency causes anxiety, and in more extreme cases, neurosis. Parents who choose to use behavioral training with their children, also referred to as punishments... Continue Reading →
ask why…
A key point I've tried to stress to parents for years is that there is always a reason. There is a reason for everything that every person does. We may not easily recognize it, but it is there somewhere. When faced with a specific behavior from our children, it is important to ask, whether verbally... Continue Reading →
requirements of active listening…
Everyone has a need to be heard and understood. A great way to achieve this goal and understand the other person's point of view is through active listening. There are a few requirements in order for active listening to work: It is important to want to hear what the other person has to say and... Continue Reading →
active listening…
Active listening is a technique which allows you to put yourself in someone else's shoes, so to speak, in order to fully understand their point of view. It shows trust, acceptance, and interest in the other person and allows you to know what is really going on. With the use of active listening, we can... Continue Reading →
take time to listen…
As parents, we sometimes get wrapped up in the management side of life - making certain everyone has clean clothes available, food, running errands, cleaning house, etc. I find that when I start to shift more to managing life rather than living life, I tend to miss out on a lot of things. When my third... Continue Reading →
self-defeating parenting behavior…
You've heard the phrase "Two wrongs don't make a right." This is especially true with parenting. Not only are certain behaviors self-defeating, but they increase the gap between us and our children rather than building connection so that we can help them. While threats may sometimes seem to work in the short term, they tend to... Continue Reading →
the perfect parent myth…
Every parent makes mistakes. It's part of being human. We have an entire lifetime of baggage following us around which we have to work through in order to bypass and move on. Many of us, in an attempt to improve ourselves as people and parents, actively strive to do better for our kids. We hope... Continue Reading →
living peacefully with children 