Children's coping mechanisms to deal with parental power: Resistance, defiance, rebellion, and negativity. People will fight back when their freedom is threatened. Resentment, anger, and hostility. People want to be in control of themself. When others hold power over them, they feel resentful. Aggression, retaliation, and striking back. Parental domination via authority leads to frustration.... Continue Reading →
if they are young enough to ask for it…
We've all heard the phrase "If they are old enough to ask for it, they are too old to nurse." There is absolutely no logic to it, and it only goes to show the ignorance of the person spouting it. Babies ask to nurse from the day they are born. They cry, root, and open... Continue Reading →
Gibran, the prophet…
Just because this deserves to be posted..... Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself. They come through you but not from you, And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you. You may give them your love but not your thoughts, For... Continue Reading →
willow…
Willow, star of Denise Brennan-Nelson and Rosemarie Brennan's book of the same name, attends an art class in which every student is expected to conform to the demands of the strict and unimaginative art teacher. Determined to embrace her true self, Willow continues on, expressing herself through beautiful and unique artwork, to the disdain of... Continue Reading →
the no-lose method…
The no-lose method of conflict resolution allows everyone to work together in order to find mutually agreed upon solutions which work for everyone. First, you must set the stage for how the no-lose method will work: Begin by telling your child clearly and concisely that there is a problem that needs to be addressed. Make... Continue Reading →
conflict: the no-lose method (part4)…
The no-lose method of conflict resolution allows parents to discover what is really going on with the child. When you use your power to enforce your own solutions, you don't unveil the true underlying feelings and needs. In order to deal with an issue, you have to know what the real problem is first. Once you have... Continue Reading →
conflict: parent 0, child 1 (part 3)…
The other win/lose method of conflict resolution involves the child winning while the parent loses, as seen in permissive parenting. In an effort not to be authoritarian, the parent does not enforce his/her own personal boundaries or talk to the child about behavior. These children are often wild, uncontrolled (self-control), and impulsive. Lacking the opportunity to think... Continue Reading →
conflict: parent 1, child 0 (part 2)…
There are three methods of conflict resolution. The first method, and the one employed by most parents, involves the parent winning the conflict while the child loses. Relationships are symbiotic. When one half loses, the entire relationship loses. Parents may have won the fight, but they are losing in both the short and long-term. When... Continue Reading →
conflict (part 1)…
Conflict is a matter of life. However, conflict is not by definition negative. Conflict can be a catalyst for much needed change. It can bring about learning. It can bring us closer together. Conflict, in and of itself, is unavoidable. How we handle conflict is what matters.
you’re loveable to me…
It had been a big day. It had been a hard night. Many parents can identify with the opening pages of Kat Yeh's book, You're Lovable to Me. Long nights and sometimes longer days can often leave parents tired and cranky. However, it's important that we continue to show our children that no matter what, we love... Continue Reading →
living peacefully with children 