Taking the Drama out of Discipline

NPN RTD featureThis post is written as part of the Round Table Discussions with Natural Parent Network volunteers. In an effort to discuss, support, and promote a kinder, more gentle world, we are taking an in depth view of various books. Our current book is No Drama Discipline by Daniel J. Siegel, M.D. and Tina Payne Bryson, Ph. D, authors of the book The Whole Brain Child. We hope you will join us with an open mind and a desire for change and growth.

 

Everything was going fairly well, until the incident. The incident may have been something big, or maybe it was just a tiny little thing. Maybe it wasn’t even the incident itself that was the problem but just merely a trigger. Whatever it was, it was the incident that caused the dam to burst. With an inhale the size of an arctic storm, that dam let loose a shrill cry that would rival any banshee. The screaming. The crying and tears. The flinging of limbs that would cause an earthquake that could register an 8.0 on the Richter scale. Did I mention the screaming? And it didn’t stop.

Flickr (Miss Yasmina)

Flickr (Miss Yasmina)

When that dam released, it just seemed to keep on coming. There was no going back once it broke. All of those pent up emotions and frustrations were making their way out, and there was no way to stop it. Once started, it just needed to rage forth until the energy behind it ran out and everyone around was spent, drenched in the words and actions, with the innocent bystanders standing by, mouths agape.The drama rivaled that of any Oscar winning motion picture.

Is it a scene you recognize? Now let me ask you something else, quietly. Was it your child, or was it you? Don’t answer out loud. I don’t need to know. Either way, it’s a horrible feeling, isn’t it? Someone, or in many cases multiple people, was out of control. The person felt so powerless in a situation and in that moment lacked the skills to cope with the situation, that the most basic of reactions overtook them. If it was you, you know it doesn’t feel good. It doesn’t feel good to your child, either.

And what is worse? It often causes chain reaction. The people around the person also feel helpless with the situation and lack the skills to cope. Maybe you are having a bad day. Maybe your child is, because children have bad days, too. But something happens and now you are faced with a choice. Do you fight back against the flood, causing more energy to build up resulting in more drama? Do you threaten, punish, or throw a tantrum of your own Or do you opt for the drama free approach? The one in which you realize that you can do something besides reptilian reacting?

Kids are learning. They are going to make mistakes. They are also still developing, which means some of those lessons aren’t going to stick for a while. You really don’t have any control over that. Welcome to parenting. It’s a roller coaster of a ride sometimes. But you aren’t just strapped in, helpless for the ride. You aren’t aren’t at the mercy of a miniature dictator. You get to make the choice of reacting and adding fuel to the fire, so to speak, or responding and changing the situation into a better direction.

No-drama discipline has two main goals: (1) working together with your child, and (2) helping your child develop the necessary skills and self-control to make better decisions and handle situations appropriately. You just have to ask yourself which road you are willing to take, and how you are going to get there. Working with our children isn’t always easy, especially in the early years when they are young and many of us are new to the concept. No one ever said parenting was easy. However, it is definitely worth every minute. As your family has more practice working together and living consensually, it will come easier and faster to everyone.

Parenting: What To Do or Not to Do

NPN RTD featureThis post is written as part of the Round Table Discussions with Natural Parent Network volunteers. In an effort to discuss, support, and promote a kinder, more gentle world, we are taking an in depth view of various books. Our current book is No Drama Discipline by Daniel J. Siegel, M.D. and Tina Payne Bryson, Ph. D, authors of the book The Whole Brain Child. We hope you will join us with an open mind and a desire for change and growth.

 

Articles and online threads regarding gentle parenting often find themselves subject to a frantic cry from parents who want to do better but don’t know how. “How?” they ask. “You tell us what not to do, but what is it that we should do?”  This is a valid question. If someone was trying to teach you to use a computer and only told you what not to do, it would be difficult for you to figure out what exactly it was . Imagine going to orientation for a new job and only being told what not to do. It would be frustrating at the very least. You might feel like screaming, or crying, or just flat out giving up.

Now imagine a similar scenario except as a child. In families that use punishments, you often find a similar situation, times one hundred. “Don’t hit your brother.” “Stop leaving you stuff all over the house?” While you may be frustrated at work, at the end of the day you get to go home and take a break. If the situation is really bad, you might request a change or even decide to leave and find a better job. But what if you didn’t have any recourse? A child doesn’t have those possibilities. Home is supposed to be their safe place. If all, or even a significant amount of, what they hear is what not to do, they aren’t learning what they should do.

Parents may say that punishments are set up to help children learn responsibility and to do better, but the truth is that punishment is set up to make child feel bad. Punishment, whether hitting (i.e.spanking), time-outs, or grounding, is the easy road for parents. They can feel like they did something while putting very little effort into the situation. Your child hits her brother? Punishment. He forgets to take the dog out? Punishment. She got home later than the agreed upon time, left his homework at home, didn’t take the trash out, questioned an adult, wanted a different pair of pants than you wanted to buy, chose his words poorly, and on and on. Frankly, when you are a child living in such a world, everything you do is subject to judgment and punishment. And you thought the work scenario was bad.

Kids are going to screw up. We, adults, aren’t perfect, either. We screw up quite a bit. Kids haven’t even had the same opportunities we have in order to learn how they should be handling all of these situations. And yet, many adults, parents included, expect kids to be able to handle everything perfectly. It is bad news for the kids who don’t have everything figured out yet. In this punishment mindset, we can just hope they figure it out for next time.

Right about now, you may be thinking to yourself that I still haven’t told you what to do, You would be right, and there is a reason for that. Every situation is different. Every person is different. While punishment takes a one-size-fits-all attitude, life isn’t like that, though. I can’t tell you what you should do in any given situation, because I am not there. I am not you. I don’t know your child or the background. There isn’t one thing you should do.

So, how do you know what to do then? You have to think about it. Sometimes you have to put yourself in your child’s place. Ask yourself why they did what they did (there is always, always a reason behind why a person does something, even if they, themselves, don’t know it). Talk with your children. Listen to them. Work with them. Connect with them. Help them to figure out a better way to do whatever it is. I won’t lie. It is not always easy, especially when you are first starting out and especially if you grew up with the authoritarian mindset. But you know what? No one ever said parenting was easy. But it is definitely worth it.

Join Natural Parent Network Volunteers for Our Round Table Dicussions

NPN RTD featureDo you find yourself wishing you were more empathic with your children? Are you looking to stop reacting in the moment? Are you wanting a better way to connect with your family? Do you want to grow as a parent and a person? Or are you just tired of dealing with the drama that seems to pop up in your home? Maybe you are looking for support from others trying to raise their children in a non-violent manner. This year, please join the volunteers at the Natural Parents Network as we take an in depth look at several books in our Round Table Discussions.

We encourage you to read with us. The pace will be slow. Just like you, we are busy parenting our own children, going to activities, working (whether WOH, WAH, or SAH), and dealing with the never ending laundry, dishes, and other miscellaneous of life. But if you can’t read the book along with us, feel free to read the related posts, ask questions, and think about some of the issues raised.

As we go through various sections of these books, there will be links to blog articles by Natural Parenting Network volunteers concerning the topics presented. They may be our thoughts on specific aspects of the subject, our personal experiences, novel ideas that help us and may help others, or things with which we struggle. Parenting can be hard, but we want you to know you aren’t alone.

Are you interested? Read more about the the Round Table Discussions here and how you can join in. Be the change you want to see in your family.

When did Measles Become a Human Rights Issue?

If you are anywhere near the social media these days, you have been hearing about measles and vaccines….A LOT. Let me just preface this post by saying I am not hosting a debate on whether or not you should vaccinate yourself or your child. Don’t go there. Neither will I. (and if you comment on anything other than supporting families, regardless of their decision, and supporting human rights, it will be deleted) So, when exactly did measles become a human rights issue?

That happened right around the time that some (not all by any means) people started calling for the police to round up any parents who haven’t vaccinated their children, others called for non-vaccinating families to wear the equivalent of a Nazi star, still others cried for concentration camps, and a few of the really far out violent people suggested that parents just be shot and the children taken to foster care. It wouldn’t be the first time the United States has forced people into concentration camps, and for much less than choosing not to vaccinate, but I can hope that our society has come a bit farther than that in this day and age.

Photo by Markus Grossalber

Photo by Markus Grossalber

Personally, I don’t care what you do. Vaccinate. Don’t vaccinate. My hope would be that you do your research. And by research, I’m not talking about reading the propaganda from either side but by digging into actual medical journals and evaluating what is there. I know I am not the only one who can lose track of time due to the joy of digging through the stacks. Then, take that information, along with your personal and family information, and make an informed decision (because you know your health and your family’s history). That would be my hope.

However, even if you don’t do your research and make a decision, I still don’t care what you decide. Why? It is not my decision to make. I have this thing about bodily autonomy. I happen to enjoy it. I want the right to make my own decisions regarding my heath care and what I allow others to do with my body, whether that is addressing birth choices, reproductive rights, sexual assault, physical assault, cancer treatments, or anything else. And if I want that right for myself, than I can’t expect to tell someone else that they must or must not allow someone to do something to them.

Life comes with no guarantees. There are always risks. If you are fearful that an un-vaccinated person will put you at risk or that a just vaccinated person is shedding and putting you at risk, you probably need to stay home. You have no idea who has or has not had the diseases, had the vaccines or not, had recent boosters or not. If you aren’t comfortable with the decision you have made for your family, then maybe you should re-evaluate that decision.

Now, some will loudly say that people who don’t vaccinate are putting the population as a whole at risk, and therefore we can’t risk allowing a person to have bodily autonomy in this matter. Frankly, there are a lot of factors which people at risk for these diseases, and I think we should focus on those for a minute.

Healthy lifestyles – the Standard American Diet really isn’t helping you stay healthy. Sanitation – sanitation is such a key point when it comes to preventing the spread of infectious diseases. Poverty – families living at or below the poverty line are much more likely to suffer from all types of illness. We need to help everyone make a decent living wage so that they can provide for their families to be healthy. Maternity and paternity leave – the United States gets a big, huge fail on this. We need both so that our fragile newborns don’t have to go to daycares right away. Breastfeeding, breastfeeding rights, and milk banks – we should be supporting this first step in the immune system. Paid sick leave – sick people need to be able to stay home and get better instead of passing it on to everyone else. Share baked goods you bring in. Leave the illness at home.

As a recap: Let’s advocate for doing your own research. Let’s advocate for information on healthy living. Let’s advocate for good sanitation. Let’s actually work to help people who are at a higher risk in general, such as families living at or below the poverty line. Let’s call for changes in work and school policies which encourage health so that we don’t have sick people out there running around. Let’s have women not be the only ones taking time away from their chosen careers (WOH, WAH, or SAH) to care for the sick, the young, and the elderly. Promote breastfeeding! Instate both maternity and paternity policies so that parents don’t have to drop their newborns off at daycare. Let’s promote a decent living wage so that people can be healthy. 

All of these things sound like much better options than sending families to concentration camps or shooting parents, who love their kids just as much as you love yours. And all of them are positive ways to advocate for and support families without crossing that bodily autonomy line.

If you are sick, by all means…….STAY HOME!

I would also politely ask you to go wash your hands, because I have been in public restrooms;  I know the majority of people out there are not washing their hands and science backs that up. A little bit of soap and water and scrub for 20 seconds. Doesn’t that feel better? (imagine that said with the voice of your own mother)

NPN Volunteers Wish You a Happy Crunchy, All-Inclusive December Holiday Season

Photo by Elena Roussakis

Photo by Elena Roussakis

As we celebrate the Winter solstice in the Northern hemisphere and the Summer Solstice in the Southern, the Natural Parent Network volunteers would like to wish you and your family  Happy Holidays, whatever holiday(s) you may celebrate. As such, we have put together our own rendition of a classic for you. We hope you can take some time to relax and spend time with your loved ones amidst the craziness of the season.

Please enjoy The Twelve Days of Crunchy, All-Inclusive December Holiday Season. May you have a wonderful New Year!

 

Someone’s Hero

Welcome to the March 2014 Carnival of Natural Parenting: Everyday Superheroes

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month our participants have talked about the remarkable people and characteristics that have touched their lives. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

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My “S” emblazoned T-shirt is covered in spit-up. The tail of my sling, aka cape, has dirty little handprints, and we won’t hazard a guess as to what exactly those crunchy items that resemble boogers are. The Mom-mobile (van) looks more like it belongs to a suburbanite, with ice skates, cloth grocery bags, and extra towels in the back. I could use some super speed to take care of everything on my to-do list which seems to grow as though it was in a vortex.

My super powers are limited to making breastmilk (and humans) and throwing together edibles from whatever is on hand, along with some mad organizational/planning skills and the ability to multi-task like no one’s business. I can nurse a baby, answer the questions of my children, churn out a bit of work, and keep the household from tumbling into a chasm all at the same time.

Overall, I don’t feel much like a hero. Sometimes I become frustrated and flustered. I make mistakes. Really, sometimes I just want to quit pretending I’m a grown up. I want to cry. I want to step back and let someone else deal with the bills, the laundry, the groceries, and dealing with all of the problems that moms (and dads) deal with.

And then someone puts their arms around my neck and gives me a slobbery kiss. I watch one of my children make a breakthrough in something they were struggling with. I see them mimic my behavior, whether good or whether making something right. They tell me they love me.

It challenges me to find myself, not only for me but for them, and to work toward being a better person every day because they deserve that. So I put on my tights and my cape. I look in their eyes, and I step up because I am someone’s hero.

 

photo credit: paurian via photopin cc

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Carnival of Natural Parenting -- Hobo Mama and Code Name: MamaVisit Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

(This list will be updated by afternoon March 11 with all the carnival links.)

  • I Am A Super Hero — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama shares how she learned the hard way exactly what it means to be a real super hero and not a burned out shell of a human simply pretending to be one.
  • Quiet Heroics — Heroism doesn’t have to be big and bold. Read how Jorje of Momma Jorje is a quiet hero…and how you probably are, too.
  • Not a Bang, but a Whisper {Carnival of Natural Parenting} — Meegs at A New Day talks about the different types of “superheroes,” ones that come in with a bang and ones that come in with a whisper.
  • Silent courage of motherhood in rural Cambodia — Nathalie at Kampuchea Crossings marvels at how rural Khmer women defy the odds in childbirth.
  • Super PappyMother Goutte‘s little boy met a superhero in checked slippers and Volkswagen Polo, his grand dad: Super Pappy!
  • An Open Letter to Batman — Kati at The Best Things challenges Batman to hold up his end of the deal, in the name of social justice, civic duty, and a little boy named Babe-O!
  • My Village — Kellie at Our Mindful Life reflects on the people who helped her to become her best self.
  • 5 Lessons My Kids Taught Me — Children are amazing teachers, when we only stop to listen. They remind us to choose happiness, to delight in the small things, to let go and forgive. There is so much we can learn from our children. Justine at The Lone Home Ranger shares a few of the lessons she’s learned.
  • Could you use some superpowers? — Tat at Mum in search shares a fun activity to help you connect with your own superpowers.
  • Like Fire Engines — Tam at tinsenpup tells the story of the day she saw a surprising superhero lurking in the guise of her not entirely mild-mannered four-year-old daughter.
  • Everyday Superheroes — Erica at ChildOrganics shares her list of Walker Warburg Syndrome Superheroes that have touched her life forever.
  • My Superhero of the Week: Nancy GallagherTribal Mama muses about the transcendent things her superhero mom has done.
  • My choice in natural birth does not make me a super hero — Bianca, The Pierogie Mama, discusses her thoughts on her experience with the perception of natural birth and putting those mamas on a different level. Does giving birth naturally give cause for an extra pat on the back? No! All mamas, no matter how they birth, are superheroes.
  • Someone’s Hero — Sometimes being a parent means pretending to be a grown-up, but it always means you are someone’s hero. Read Mandy’s lament at Living Peacefully with Children.
  • Growing into a Super Hero — Casey at Joyful Courage shares how owning our behavior and choosing to be a better parent, a better person, is an act of courage.
  • A Math Superhero — Kerry at City Kids Homeschooling writes that her 7-year-old daughter’s superhero is an MIT-trained mathematician.
  • It Starts With Truffula Trees And Tulips — Luschka of Diary of a First Child takes a hard look at the realities of her relationship with her mother, and through this post goes on a journey of discovery that ends in a surprise realisation for her.
  • We Don’t Need an Excuse — Maria Kang (aka “Hot Mom”) asks women #WhatsYourExcuse for not being in shape? Dionna at Code Name: Mama asks Hot Mom what her excuse is for not devoting her life to charity work, or fostering dozens of stray dogs each year, or advocating for the needs of others. Better yet, Code Name: Mama says, how about we realize that every woman has her own priorities. Focus on your own, and stop judging others for theirs.
  • It’s not heroic when you’re living it — Lauren at Hobo Mama knows from the inside that homeschooling does not take a hero, and that much of what we choose as parents is simply what works best for us.
  • Superheroes, princesses and preschoolers — Garry at Postilius discusses why his preschool-age son is not ready for comic book superheroes.
  • The Loving Parents of Children with Special Needs – Everyday Superheroes — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now shares posts with resources for parents of children with special needs along with posts to help others know how to support parents of children with special needs.
  • Everyday Empathy — Mommy Giraffe of Little Green Giraffe shares why her secret superpower is everyday empathy.
  • The Simplicity of Being a Superhero — Ana at Panda & Ananaso explains what superheroes mean to her wise three-year-old.
  • My Father, The Hero — Fathers are pretty amazing; find out why Christine at The Erudite Mom thinks hers is the bees knees.

Why I Stopped Saying “Merry Christmas”

Some may be surprised to hear that I am not a Christian. Others who are aware may be surprised to hear that there was a time when I was one. The topic isn’t one I talk about a lot. It isn’t because of being ostracized, which believe me, happens. Ask that an all-inclusive event not be labelled with one holiday, and you have your character attacked. Admit the fact to the woman at Einstein Brothers who is hounding you for parenting advice because your family is so peaceful and respectful, and she will run for all it is worth. Explain to your in-laws that your family celebrates something else and hear ranting and screaming with some declarations that you are solely responsible for killing baby Jesus (or is that just my in-laws?). No, the reason I don’t talk about it a lot is because it just doesn’t matter. Treating people with respect doesn’t require that we share religious (or not) beliefs. I am not out to convert anyone away from their religious philosophy.

Back to the phrase “Merry Christmas,” though. I didn’t stop saying it because I am no longer a Christian. (Please don’t try to convert me. I have studied religion in depth. I am confident with where I am in my journey.) I stopped saying “Merry Christmas” back when I was still a Christian. Why? you ask. The reason is simple. I realized that when I said those two simple words, no matter how well-meaning, the supposed happiness that I was wishing the person was contingent. It was contingent on their celebration of the holiday I was specifying. It was about my holiday and therefore about me. If you know the other person and what they believe and celebrate, that can be fine. They share the same holiday with you, and therefore it is also about them. However, said to someone whose beliefs you are unsure of or whom you know celebrates something different, that contingency makes a big difference.

So, back when I was a Christian, I stopped saying “Merry Christmas.” I began saying “Happy Holidays!” It worked for friends who celebrated other holidays, even if that was New Year’s Day or something else. It worked for strangers I knew nothing about. I genuinely was wishing the other person happiness, with no contingency, without making it about me or my beliefs. Now, I sometimes even just say “Happiness to you!”

So, during this cold winter season (in the Northern hemisphere, heat of summer in the Southern), I wish you all happiness!

Giving Gifts that Keep on Giving

Welcome to the December edition of the Simply Living Blog CarnivalGift Giving cohosted by Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children and Laura at Authentic Parenting. This month, we write about taking the stress out of gift giving.

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In the spirit of giving, it can be easy for well-meaning relatives to go a little (or a lot) overboard with gifts. While the love and thought behind gift giving is generally welcome, the mountians of stuff can easily become overwhelming. If you are trying to convince relatives to do something different, understand that this is often a shift in mentality. While some of your loved ones may immediately embrace a simpler style, others may need time. If you are looking at giving gifts to others, consider the long-term aspects of those gifts.
Consumables – Consumable products are often a great idea for people who are still looking to physically hand over a gift. The giver gets something to wrap up and hand over, and the receiver won’t have the item lingering for years to come. Assumming the consumables are actually something that will be used, they will be gone soon and relieve you from having to purchase that item for a while. Special food, with considerations of allergies or lifestyle, are great for those neighbor, co-worker, teacher, or student gifts. Will your children be receiving items from relatives? If they ask for a list, consider telling them about art supplies your children like to use.
Experiences – Experiences make fantastic gifts and the memories from them will be much longer lasting. These can be one time events, such as tickets to a show, or memberships to museums, science centers, or zoos which will last a family an entire year. Experience gifts don’t have to cost a lot of money. If you are on a budget and want to give an experience gift, consider doing something with the special person in your life – bake favorite cookies, go on a special hike, or even camp out on the living room floor. Take some photos to help remember the special time. You could even fill a photo book of your special times together throughout the year.
Spread it Out – Similar to memberships which can be enjoyed throughout the year, other great gifts are magazine subscriptions to favorite publications. The magazines can be enjoyed as they come and then passed on for others to enjoy, limiting the clutter in the home. You could also set up a special date night or other get together each month. Some prior planning with the special days written down make a great gift.
Heartfelt – A key aspect of gift giving when I was growing up was to really think about what the recipient might like. Rather than grabbing gift cards or filling up with stuff, items given were generally handmade, and much thought was put into what the person might need or truly want. One gift out of a hundred will not be remembered, whether handmade or store bought. Make it something memorable.
Family Gifts – Consider giving a family gift rather than several individual gifts. Nicer board games (Rio Grande, Days of Wonder, Z-Man Games, etc.) may cost more, but giving fewer gifts will save you money. Plus, the game will encourage family time and connection every time it is played.
Gift giving should be about showing someone you care. Plan ahead, plan for your budget, and get creative to keep yourself from stressing out about what should be a nice gesture.

photo credit: stevendepolo via photopin cc

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Thank you for visiting the Simply Living Blog Carnival cohosted by Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children and Laura at Authentic Parenting. Read about how others are simplifying gift giving. Check back to see what we have in store for 2014!

  • Keeping Gifts Simple – JW at True Confessions of a Real Mommy shares a few simple ways to limit gift giving and keep your holiday about the thought over the thing..
  • The Mindful Holiday Giving Guide – How many times have you carefully chosen a present for someone and find you missed the mark? Zoie at TouchstoneZ identifies key ways to give mindful holiday gifts that will be truly appreciated.
  • Giving Gifts that Keep Giving – At Living Peacefully with Children, Mandy shares ideas to help gift givers think outside the (gift) box with gifts that keep on giving.
  • Greening the Giving Spirit – Momma Giraffe at Little Green Giraffe writes more eco-friendly Christmas wish-list for her family this year – passing on plastic and gift wrap and saying yes to memories, moments and experience.
  • No Toys? : Giving Our Children Gifts that Make Memories – This year, Jacquie at My Blessings Homeschool and her husband decided to do things a little differently with gifts that will make lasting memories instead of the toys that will be lost, broken or forgotten.
  • Quick and Easy DIY Gift: Flower Petal Sugar – At Authentic Parenting, Laura whips up a quick and easy last minute gift.

Do you have traditions or methods revolving around simplifying gifts? Do you have a great tutorial on how to make something? We want to hear about it! Just link up your new and old posts before January 16, 2014.

 


http://www.linkytools.com/thumbnail_linky_include.aspx?id=220731

Building the Community You Desire

Welcome to the December 2013 Carnival of Natural Parenting: The More Things Change . . .

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month our participants have shared stories and wisdom about life changes.

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They say friends are the family you choose. The difference is that family is automatically there (in some matter) and making friends can take some time. My husband and I have moved a few times in our 15+ years of marriage. The most recent move was when we packed up our 4 1/2 children plus a dog and moved to a state we had never been to and where we knew no one. We lived in a hotel for two months before closing on our house last month. That was an experience!

Living in a hotel in a state you have never been does not make it easy to meet people. However, we started trying to feel out groups of like-minded families and make some connections before we were in our new home. Since moving, besides dealing with boxes that were mis-labelled and mis-packaged by the moving company (it’s a scavenger hunt in every box when a box may say kitchen but contains a few items from the garage, a few from the downstairs family room, a few from the bedroom, and absolutely nothing from the kitchen), we have been working to start up our local network.

This isn’t the first time that we have had to do it, and honestly, it probably won’t be the last. It takes work, possibly more so for this family of introverts, but in the end, knowing we have friends we can rely on and providing opportunities for our children is worth it. More so than that, we are working to help others get similar groups started up in their areas. We know what a resource a great network of families can be.

photo credit: Pink Sherbet Photography via photopin cc

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Carnival of Natural Parenting -- Hobo Mama and Code Name: MamaVisit Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

(This list will be updated by afternoon December 10 with all the carnival links.)

  • Mature StudentAmber Strocel is embarking on a new adventure in 2014, by returning to a space in her life she thought she’d left behind – that of being a university student.
  • And then there were four — Jillian at Mommyhood learned how quickly love can grow when welcoming a second child to the family.
  • Handling Change As A Mother (And Why That Takes Things To A Different Level) — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama shares how she helps her young daughter navigate change and why it is so important, as a mother, to gauge her own reactions to change.
  • Without Dad-One Year Later — Erica at ChildOrganics shares how her life has changed one year after losing her husband suddenly.
  • Family Ties — Lori at TEACH through Love realized that her most significant, most painful wound paved the way for her to share her greatest gift.
  • Rootless — After Dionna @ Code Name: Mama‘s parents packed up their home and moved to Florida this fall, she is feeling rootless and restless.
  • A Letter to My Mama Self in the Swirl of Change — Sheila Pai of A Living Family shares a letter she wrote to herself to capture and remember the incredible changes from the year, and invites you to do the same and share!
  • Junctionssustainablemum explains how her family has dealt with a complete change of direction this year.
  • Planning, Parenting, and Perfection — Becca at The Earthling’s Handbook explains how most of the plans she made for her adult life have worked out differently than she planned, but she’s ended up getting a lot of what she really wanted.
  • Why First Grade Means Growing Up… for Both Me and My Daughter — Donna at Eco-Mothering discovers that her daughter’s transition into first grade is harder as a parent.
  • First Year of Mothering — Mercedes at Project Procrastinot reflects on the quiet change that took her by surprise this year.
  • Building the Community YOu Desire — A recent move has Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children working toward setting up a new support network.
  • Slowing down in 2013 — A car fire and a surprise diagnosis of Down syndrome made 2013 a very different year than the one Crunchy Con Mommy and family were expecting!
  • The Seven Year Cycle — After 7 intense years of baking, birthing and breastfeeding 6 kids, Zoie at TouchstoneZ wonders, “Will I be enough for what comes next?”
  • Rebirth — Kellie of Our Mindful Life has found that each of her births leaves her a different person.
  • When a Hobby Becomes a Business — This year, new doors opened for That Mama Gretchen‘s hobby of writing and blogging – it has turned into a side business. She’s sharing a bit about her journey and some helpful tips in case you’re interested in following the same path.
  • 5 Tips for Embracing a Big Change in Your Family — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now tells about a big change in her family and shares tips that have always helped her family embrace changes.
  • Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes — Ana at Panda & Ananaso ruminates on how having a child changed her priorities.
  • Homeostasis — Lauren at Hobo Mama is finding that even as elements shift in her life — in cosleeping, homeschooling, breastfeeding, & more — they mostly remain very familiar.
  • Sally go round the sun — A new baby brings joy and unexpected sadness for Douglas at Friendly Encounters, as she is diagnosed with a rare genetic condition.
  • Embrace it — Laura from Pug in the Kitchen muses about the changes in her family this year and how she can embrace them . . . as best she can anyway.
  • Big Change; Seamless but Big — Jorje of Momma Jorje shares how one of the biggest changes of her life was also a seamless transition.