The no-lose method of conflict resolution allows parents to discover what is really going on with the child. When you use your power to enforce your own solutions, you don't unveil the true underlying feelings and needs. In order to deal with an issue, you have to know what the real problem is first. Once you have... Continue Reading →
conflict: parent 0, child 1 (part 3)…
The other win/lose method of conflict resolution involves the child winning while the parent loses, as seen in permissive parenting. In an effort not to be authoritarian, the parent does not enforce his/her own personal boundaries or talk to the child about behavior. These children are often wild, uncontrolled (self-control), and impulsive. Lacking the opportunity to think... Continue Reading →
conflict: parent 1, child 0 (part 2)…
There are three methods of conflict resolution. The first method, and the one employed by most parents, involves the parent winning the conflict while the child loses. Relationships are symbiotic. When one half loses, the entire relationship loses. Parents may have won the fight, but they are losing in both the short and long-term. When... Continue Reading →
unconditional parenting…
Along the same lines of Haim Ginott's Between Parent and Child, Alfie Kohn's Unconditional Parenting provides an updated version on the same concepts of consensual living while coining the term unconditional parenting. I've long been a fan and advocate of several of his books and his stance on parenting, although we disagree on education. I've... Continue Reading →
parent effectiveness training…
Dr. Thomas Gordon, a nobel peace prize nominee, was a pioneer in effective communication skills and conflict resolution. The licensed clinical psychologist wrote several books, numerous articles, and ran effective training courses to help individuals learn to better communicate and solve conflicts between one another. Gordon Model techniques are known world-wide. Gordon revolutionalized the world... Continue Reading →
stagnant versus dynamic parenting…
I like to read books about topics which are pertinent to me. This includes parenting books - specifically non-coercive or consensual living books. I feel that I am a better parent when I am actively seeking growth - as a parent and as a person. When I read the books, I'm not looking for someone... Continue Reading →
living peacefully with children 