This post is written as part of the Round Table Discussions with Natural Parent Network volunteers. In an effort to discuss, support, and promote a kinder, more gentle world, we are taking an in depth view of various books. Our current book is Peaceful Parent, Happy Siblings: How to Stop the Fighting and Raise Friends for Life by Dr. Laura Markham, author of Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How to Stop Yelling and Start Connecting. We hope you will join us with an open mind and a desire for change and growth.
I love my children. I love them until it feels as if my heart may burst. I love them with every fiber of my being. But, I do not love them the same.
I can hear the gasps. Surely, I don’t mean that. Aren’t we supposed to treat our children the same? After all, isn’t that part of being fair? How dare I even think of admitting that I don’t love my children the same? Think about the children!
And this is why I am honest with my children. No, I don’t love them the same. My children are very intelligent. They know they are different people; they are wonderfully unique individuals. Sometimes those aspects are frustrating in the moment. Sometimes those aspects make my heart swell with pride. However, each child is his/her own person. A fantastically complex, individual person that is uniquely them.
For me to love them the same would mean that I ignore those nuances, those differences, those things which make them….them. Loving them the same would be unfair.
Do I love them equally? Yes. I love them all with every bit of who I am. I love them for who they are. I love them for themselves.