If we want our children to be disciplined, we must first focus on ourselves. We cannot help our children to learn self-discipline if we, ourselves, do not have it.
myth: cooperation takes time…
Many parents believe that cooperating and problem solving with their children takes more time than more authoritarian parenting methods. However, this is actually the opposite of the truth. Many conflicts only take a few minutes to resolve when working with all parties. Problems which take longer to solve usually stay solved when cooperative solutions are... Continue Reading →
crack the code…
Children, like adults, don't always say what they mean. Parents sometimes have to use investigative techniques in order to decipher the code their child is telling them. Active listening is an excellent way to open a dialogue with one's children in order to understand what their true thoughts and feelings are.
choose happiness…
One of my children tends to take after my husband personality-wise, with a "doom and gloom"/"life is unfair"/"woe is me"/"cup is half empty" mentality. It's a personality trait that I personally find very frustrating and one that has a tendency to cause discord in our family. I try to help my child by validating feelings, being... Continue Reading →
I hate you…
After pouring your time and love into raising your wonderful child, he turns to you and says three little words - and not the ones you love to hear. It's amazing how the words "I hate you" can cut a parent to the quik. The best advice is not to take it personally, something that's hard to... Continue Reading →
respect breeds respect…
When parents are respectful of their child's feelings and opinions, it is possible for the the child to take the parents' wishes into account. Being respectful of children not only models respect, but it also let's the child know that the parents care about the child and take the child's point of view into account.... Continue Reading →
change the environment, not the child…
Sometimes children need a little help getting out of a mood or mode. We can't make another person do something, but we can help by proving an optimal environment. Sometimes a simple change to the environment is all it takes for a person's needs to be met. Ways to change a child's environment: Enrich the... Continue Reading →
modeling compassion…
Empathy allows us to listen to our children without changing their feelings. We can listen and acknowledge their feelings and thoughts regardless of whether or not we agree with them. Through this, we model compassion. Through our compassion, we open ourselves to communication and cooperation.
approaching mistakes…
How we, as parents, approach our children's mistakes can have a profound effect on how they approach mistakes for the rest of their lives. Attribute negative interpretations to their behaviors, and our children learn that their mistakes make them bad. Approach mistakes from a positive position, and they learn that mistakes are merely learning experiences.
attachment siblings…
My husband and I are family people. Family is very important to us and we would do anything to help others out. We would love to have the big family gatherings where cousins are running around playing, grandparents are spinning tales from earlier years, and everyone is chatting and interacting. We would love it, but... Continue Reading →
living peacefully with children 