Children, like adults, don’t always say what they mean. Parents sometimes have to use investigative techniques in order to decipher the code their child is telling them. Active listening is an excellent way to open a dialogue with one’s children in order to understand what their true thoughts and feelings are.
Is active listening where you essentially repeat back what the child is saying? Like child says, “I’m so mad”, and you say, “I understand you feel really mad right now?”
Would love a link or more information!
NVC.org is a great place to start re: active listening.
For me when my kids hit or yell or sulk or say something passive aggressive THAT’S when active listening is important. Instead of just coming down on the behavior the parent/carer thinks a little broader than that – “hey, what’s REALLY going on?” It involves finesse because in intuiting what our children are saying we don’t want to prescribe our picture over the top of theirs… I’ve found it to be a very gentle and present process.