Many parents believe that cooperating and problem solving with their children takes more time than more authoritarian parenting methods. However, this is actually the opposite of the truth.
- Many conflicts only take a few minutes to resolve when working with all parties.
- Problems which take longer to solve usually stay solved when cooperative solutions are used.
- Cooperative solutions save time since children are invested in the solutions and parents do not need to remind or enforce solutions which the children are not in agreement with.
- As children and parents learn how to cooperate and to trust that their needs and feelings will be respected, they became more practiced at finding cooperative solutions.
Just found your blog, and loving it so. Thank you. As for cooperation being more time consuming, SO TRUE! I was a teacher of young children for many years before becoming a parent. I learned that my impatience or “Because I Said So” attitude always took longer to calm a situation into order and the ramifications were great.
When I actually took a second to step back (and really it is a matter of moments to decide your approach) the thoughtful and, how do I say, respectful of the other person approach garnered much stronger relationships and a much smoother daily life. Children respond so beautifully to someone coming at the from a “shared” point of view than one of “power.”
Sometimes my impatience gets there first and I have to put my head down, or walk away for a minute or even apologize. It’s worth it.
Thank you again for your site~