why we shouldn’t reason with our kids…

I completely support giving kids reasons for why we believe things and do things. My own children are quite inquisitive and want to understand the reasons for things. However, reasons (noun) are not the same as reasoning (verb).

When we reason with someone, it is with the express intent to convince them that our position is correct. We are so intent on convincing them of this, that we lose any possibility of listening to other potential solutions or working with the other party. When we do this as parents, we stop living our lives consensually with our children and change to an unmoveable, authoritarian point of reference.

So, while we definitely should share reasons with our children for our viewpoints, we shouldn’t try to reason with them.

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