The other win/lose method of conflict resolution involves the child winning while the parent loses, as seen in permissive parenting. In an effort not to be authoritarian, the parent does not enforce his/her own personal boundaries or talk to the child about behavior. These children are often wild, uncontrolled (self-control), and impulsive. Lacking the opportunity to think... Continue Reading →
conflict: parent 1, child 0 (part 2)…
There are three methods of conflict resolution. The first method, and the one employed by most parents, involves the parent winning the conflict while the child loses. Relationships are symbiotic. When one half loses, the entire relationship loses. Parents may have won the fight, but they are losing in both the short and long-term. When... Continue Reading →
why we shouldn’t reason with our kids…
I completely support giving kids reasons for why we believe things and do things. My own children are quite inquisitive and want to understand the reasons for things. However, reasons (noun) are not the same as reasoning (verb). When we reason with someone, it is with the express intent to convince them that our position... Continue Reading →
compromise…
The concept of compromise sounds great on the surface. No one is getting their way. The word would almost have you believe that since neither party involved is getting exactly what they want, both parties are working together, therefore creating a win/win situation. And, that is the point at which you would be wrong. It's... Continue Reading →
crack the code…
Children, like adults, don't always say what they mean. Parents sometimes have to use investigative techniques in order to decipher the code their child is telling them. Active listening is an excellent way to open a dialogue with one's children in order to understand what their true thoughts and feelings are.
you won’t win the war…
You're smarter and bigger and have more energy than your opponent. You can win. I've heard this concept multiple times recently. It's something that makes my jaw drop in astonishment and make me want to cry out. I really dislike this attitude, and it disturbs me a great deal. Parenting isn't a war. It's not about... Continue Reading →
keeping connected…
This post is part of the 2010 API Principles of Parenting blog carnival, a series of monthly parenting blog carnivals, hosted by API Speaks. Learn more about attachment parenting by visiting the API website. It was bedtime. I was nursing the baby to sleep while my 2 1/2 year old waited for his turn to... Continue Reading →
I hate you…
After pouring your time and love into raising your wonderful child, he turns to you and says three little words - and not the ones you love to hear. It's amazing how the words "I hate you" can cut a parent to the quik. The best advice is not to take it personally, something that's hard to... Continue Reading →
approaching mistakes…
How we, as parents, approach our children's mistakes can have a profound effect on how they approach mistakes for the rest of their lives. Attribute negative interpretations to their behaviors, and our children learn that their mistakes make them bad. Approach mistakes from a positive position, and they learn that mistakes are merely learning experiences.
taking back childhood…
Childhood has changed. Endless hours of playing in dirt, working beside parents, and sitting down to a dinner with your family has been replaced by a mad rush to get to the next activity, run through drive-through for a bite to eat, and then sitting down to watch advertisement filled television. Interactions between parent and... Continue Reading →
living peacefully with children 