There are three methods of conflict resolution. The first method, and the one employed by most parents, involves the parent winning the conflict while the child loses. Relationships are symbiotic. When one half loses, the entire relationship loses. Parents may have won the fight, but they are losing in both the short and long-term. When... Continue Reading →
conflict (part 1)…
Conflict is a matter of life. However, conflict is not by definition negative. Conflict can be a catalyst for much needed change. It can bring about learning. It can bring us closer together. Conflict, in and of itself, is unavoidable. How we handle conflict is what matters.
you’re loveable to me…
It had been a big day. It had been a hard night. Many parents can identify with the opening pages of Kat Yeh's book, You're Lovable to Me. Long nights and sometimes longer days can often leave parents tired and cranky. However, it's important that we continue to show our children that no matter what, we love... Continue Reading →
why we shouldn’t reason with our kids…
I completely support giving kids reasons for why we believe things and do things. My own children are quite inquisitive and want to understand the reasons for things. However, reasons (noun) are not the same as reasoning (verb). When we reason with someone, it is with the express intent to convince them that our position... Continue Reading →
compromise…
The concept of compromise sounds great on the surface. No one is getting their way. The word would almost have you believe that since neither party involved is getting exactly what they want, both parties are working together, therefore creating a win/win situation. And, that is the point at which you would be wrong. It's... Continue Reading →
crack the code…
Children, like adults, don't always say what they mean. Parents sometimes have to use investigative techniques in order to decipher the code their child is telling them. Active listening is an excellent way to open a dialogue with one's children in order to understand what their true thoughts and feelings are.
change the environment, not the child…
Sometimes children need a little help getting out of a mood or mode. We can't make another person do something, but we can help by proving an optimal environment. Sometimes a simple change to the environment is all it takes for a person's needs to be met. Ways to change a child's environment: Enrich the... Continue Reading →
modeling compassion…
Empathy allows us to listen to our children without changing their feelings. We can listen and acknowledge their feelings and thoughts regardless of whether or not we agree with them. Through this, we model compassion. Through our compassion, we open ourselves to communication and cooperation.
connection parenting…
Pam Leo's book, Connection Parenting, begins a bit differently from many other books. Individuals new to the subject of gentle parenting or consensual living will be happy to read that parents are doing the best they can with the information, resources, and support they have at any given time. While you may feel regret about... Continue Reading →
easy to love, difficult to discipline…
In her book Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline, Becky Bailey has written a resource which many parents can benefit from. She employs many non-violent communication techniques in her Seven Basic Skills for Turning Conflict into Cooperation in an easy to read format. Her focus on controling ourselves and modeling for our children through both... Continue Reading →
living peacefully with children 